


Six Little Monsters

by sabrepanther



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Burgerpants needs to change careers, Chaos Ensues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Papyrus gets a new fan, Post-Canon, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Six human souls, Temmie uprising, but still plenty of fluff and laughs, implied PTSD, monsters wonder where the heck those stray kids came from and try to find their parents, more tags may be added later, post-canon theory, rogue hot dog stands (yes you read that right), sans meets his match in jump scares, six monster children wander the underground, six open coffins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:47:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22747312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabrepanther/pseuds/sabrepanther
Summary: The True Pacifist run has been completed. One week later, Frisk is now on the surface busy as the monster ambassador. They often wondered what happened with the six opened coffins after the fight with Asriel, but this has always been an unsolved mystery throughout their runs.In the meantime, the monsters happily pack and prepare to move above ground. However, there are some recent concerns regarding six rather-mysterious monster children seen wandering around by themselves.Some "responsible" adults try to help, and chaos ensues...
Comments: 27
Kudos: 43





	1. Prologue

"Right now I can feel everyone's hearts beating as one. They're all burning with the same desire."

Asriel placed his hand over his chest, slowly backing away from Frisk, and looked at them with a gentle yet determined smile.

"With everyone's power... With everyone's determination... It's time for monsters... to finally go free." He turned away from the human and prepared himself. It was time.

The void seemed to tremble as the great power began to leak out from the young monster. The air filled with the cacophony of countless voices, all whispering as one. With an ever-brightening glow surrounding him, Asriel closed his eyes, rose in the air, and spread out his hands, chanting along with the voices.

A kaleidoscope of a countless number of white souls emerged from within the monster prince as he chanted. The multitude of monster souls were joined by six rainbow-colored human souls as they all circled around the childlike form, all yearning for one thing. Freedom!

Faster, and faster, the hurricane of souls swirled, surging as the force of the magic pressed against the barrier. A blinding white light drowned out everything in sight. The roaring of the spell’s power was overshadowed by the deafening crack of the barrier falling. 

The ancient curse trapping so many souls and lives in the underground, was no more.

Slowly the blinding light softened and dimmed. The young monster prince lowered back down to the ground. One by one, the souls of each monster returned to refill the empty underground. And the void was dark again. 

All that were left in the still blackness were six rainbow-colored souls hovering far above in the dark, as well as two small child-like figures below, who did not notice the six above them. 

As for the six souls? Their colors were Cyan, Orange, Blue, Purple, Green, and Yellow, and at this moment they were all very happy.

****

The six danced around, chattering to one another with flickering soul-light hums. It was a shared language that only the children could understand, unintelligible to those outside listening in, but the happy tones they emitted were unmistakable. 

So many years trapped in cold glass jars, next to one another, but always out of reach. If they had bodies they would have hugged each other in joy. As disembodied souls they had to make do with getting as close as possible and touching their lights with one another.

The one who moved the least was the Cyan soul as she watched happily at the sights of the other dancing souls. She'd been trapped the longest of them all. Happily she swayed to and fro with her friends, content to listen as the others babbled to one another. And if she'd had a face, it'd likely be smiling at the sight of two small figures talking below in the dark, unnoticed by the others.

The Orange soul? Well, not much to say about him at the moment, except that all one could see of him was an orange blur streaking across the dark, followed by the sounds of excited chattering that seemed delayed a moment after he’d already passed by.

Blue was the most graceful of the souls dancing, her light pulsing in rhythm while twirling and skipping around to her own silent music within. It was a dance of joy. Yet it also seemed to be a dance of sadness, a sadness joined by a relief of finally being free.

The Purple soul was the noisiest of the bunch as he chattered excitedly, darting to and fro visiting each of the others. He would seemingly ask each of the others questions, but dart off again before the other scarce had a chance to respond. He'd yet to speak to the Orange soul and was chasing him trying to catch up, rather unsuccessfully…

The Green soul noticed Purple’s attempts, and tried to help catch Orange’s attention, with just about as much success as Purple had so far. He gave up eventually and settled for going over and giving first Blue, then Cyan, then Yellow a soul-light hug.

The Yellow soul was somewhat frozen in shock. It was difficult to tell what is in her mind at this moment, but she was likely stunned by the unexpected events, from seeing Frisk win against all odds (and peacefully as well) against that monstrosity of a prince. 

Suddenly, Green came along and his hug shook Yellow out of her stupor into current reality. Slowly, she began to feel the excitement rise within, and joined the others in cheering as her soul’s light brightened.

It was a joyful, colorful party as all six celebrated and danced in the dark, but even all celebrations must wind down and come to an end. 

The chattering began to slowly dwindle down with tinges of sadness. They sensed it was time to go, but none of them wanted to say goodbye to one another, especially after all these years together.

A warm light appeared in the void from a distance, calling each of them to come home. The six colorful souls looked at one another, appearing to say their reluctant last farewells and turned back towards the light, and moved forward. The warm, beckoning light grew closer. Brighter, brighter, and brighter, then-

A sudden wind blew through the void. 

None of them could move. 

The souls looked at one another, puzzled. They tried moving forward again. Nothing. 

With a growing sense of dread and panic, they all realized that something was preventing them from leaving, as if unseen tendrils had emerged from the dark, wrapping around them with the strength of a steel vise.

Suddenly, a strange, almost glitchy-sounding voice began to speak in the dark.

“HELLO.”

They all froze at the sound. For some, the voice was very very familiar, and they shivered.

“I DO APOLOGIZE.

BUT I WILL NEED TO KEEP YOU HERE.  
FOR A LITTLE WHILE LONGER.”

The Yellow soul (soon joined by Orange) violently charged in the direction of the strange voice. However, the invisible chains did not let them move any more than a few inches. Green leaned towards the other souls, trying to protectively move in front of them, but he was locked in place like the rest. The Purple soul shuddered slightly but waited to hear what the strange man had to say next. Cyan was quiet and frozen in terror. Blue’s light had dulled and she was trembling uncontrollably. 

The strange voice tutted. 

“AH AH...

DO NOT BE AFRAID.  
I WILL NOT HARM YOU.

I’VE MERELY COME TO YOU.  
WITH AN OPPORTUNITY.

THAT YOU MAY BE INTERESTED IN.”

The speaker paused for several moments, waiting to speak again until the six souls had seemingly settled down, ready to listen. 

“I HAVE RECENTLY DISCOVERED SOMETHING.  
SOMETHING VERY INTERESTING.

YOUR PHYSICAL HUMAN BODIES. UNLIKE MONSTERS.  
TEND TO RETAIN THEIR SHAPES FOR AGES.

EVEN LONG AFTER THE SOUL HAS PASSED ON.  
BUT EVENTUALLY…

…

EVEN HUMAN BODIES WILL TURN TO DUST.  
DUE TO THE PASSING OF TIME.

THIS IS THE NORM FOR HUMAN DECAY.  
ON A SURFACE WORLD.  
LONG PURGED OF THE OLD MAGICS.

HOWEVER…

WHAT HAPPENS TO A HUMAN BODY LEFT BEHIND.  
IN A PLACE SATURATED BY MAGIC?

HA!

THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING!

I’VE FOUND THAT YOUR BODIES LEFT BEHIND.  
HAVE BECOME TAINTED WITH OUR MAGIC.

THE SAME MAGIC BUILDING UP UNDERGROUND.  
OVER ALL THESE CENTURIES.

THANKS TO **YOUR** BARRIER.

EVEN WHILE YOU WERE ALIVE UNDERGROUND.  
THIS ALREADY STARTED AFFECTING YOU.

IT LEFT TRACES ON YOUR SOULS.  
IT LEFT TRACES ON THE ITEMS YOU CARRIED.

AND IN TURN THOSE BODIES.  
STILL SHOWS SLIGHT MAGICAL TRACES OF YOUR SOULS.

EVEN NOW, YOUR SOUL.  
STILL HAS A LINGERING CONNECTION TO YOUR BODY.

ALBEIT A VERY WEAK CONNECTION...

BUT NONETHELESS STILL PRESENT!”

The speaker, momentarily overtaken with excitement, seemed to calm himself down, made a sound like clearing his throat, and resumed his monologue.

“NOW…

I WANT TO PROPOSE AN EXPERIMENT.  
OR RATHER, A TRADE IF YOU WILL.

I BELIEVE I CAN BRING YOU.  
AND YOUR BODY BACK TO LIFE.

THANKS TO THIS MAGICAL SATURATION.  
AND YOUR SOUL’S CONNECTION TO IT.

ALL WE ASK IN RETURN.  
IS TO FIND THE HUMAN FRISK.

AND… 

HELP THEM PRESERVE THIS HAPPY ENDING.”

The mystery man’s voice quieted down, taking on a slightly contemplative tone. 

AND, WHY AM I DOING THIS.  
YOU MIGHT WONDER?”

"YOU SEE…

I’VE WATCHED MANY OF YOU.  
FOR SUCH A VERY, VERY LONG TIME.

YOU FELL DOWN.  
ONE BY ONE.

TRAVELED THE UNDERGROUND.  
SUFFERED AND DIED…

ALL FOR THE SAKE OF MONSTER FREEDOM.

DEATHS THAT CAME FAR TOO EARLY.  
FOR YOUNG ONES SUCH AS YOU.

WITH THIS EXPERIMENT.  
I MERELY WISH TO REPAY.  
WHAT WAS UNFAIRLY TAKEN FROM YOU.

TO GIVE YOU AN OPTION.  
TO GROW UP AND LIVE A FULL LIFE.

HOWEVER…

...

THERE IS ONE CAVEAT TO THIS OFFER.

SOME OF YOU FELL MANY YEARS AGO.  
AND THOSE YOU KNEW ON THE SURFACE.  
HAVE ALREADY PASSED ON.

YOU MAY DECIDE THAT PASSING ON WOULD BE…  
BETTER THAN A SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND…

WOULD THOSE LONG-DEAD LOVED ONES.  
TRULY WISH FOR YOU NOT TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY? 

AND IF YOU’RE WONDERING.  
AS TO WHAT **I** WOULD GAIN FROM THIS EXPERIMENT?

WELL…

THE FASCINATING EFFECTS ON BOTH YOUR BODIES AND SOULS.  
I MERELY WISH TO... 

OBSERVE.”

The wind suddenly kicked up again as a crackling sound filled the void. A spiraling portal opened nearby! 

It was a gateway leading to a place yet unseen from this side of the void. Only the Mystery Man knew where it led. It swirled violently, glitching and pulsing with the occasional flash of lightning. 

The strange speaker had to raise his voice to be heard over the wind and roaring sounds of the gateway.

“KNOW BY GOING THROUGH.  
YOU ARE GIVING YOUR FULL CONSENT TO THIS EXPERIMENT.

I MUST WARN YOU.

THE TIGHT SENSATION YOU FEEL WHEN YOU ENTER.  
MAY BE…

UNPLEASANT.

IT WILL TAKE A WHILE FOR YOU.  
TO GET USED TO YOUR BODY AGAIN.

AS WELL AS ANY,  
UNEXPECTED MAGICAL EFFECTS.

NOW…

YOU HAVE DECISION TO MAKE.  
WHAT DO YOU ALL SAY?

I WILL GIVE YOU SOME TIME TO DECIDE.

…

YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES.”

The invisible bonds holding the souls in place fell away and the six could move once more.

The six seemed stunned as they faced the ominous-looking portal in front of them. The mystery man was still shrouded in the dark nearby; none of them could see him clearly. And none of them felt any strong urge to go closer to him. However, the portal to a second chance at life beckoned. It seemed unbearably tempting, yet do they dare take this offer from the stranger? 

But of course, there was one soul who had no trouble deciding and charged forward. The Orange soul rushed towards the portal, barely 5 seconds after the stranger had ceased speaking. Yellow cried out in warning, but her cries fell on inattentive, figurative ears as Orange zoomed away, an orange blur disappearing into the glitching portal. 

Perhaps inspired by Orange's brave dash into the unknown, the Purple soul approached the portal next. The sparks from the portal seemed to catch his attention, and his curiosity. He moved closer, watching it with fascination, ignoring Yellow's pleas all the while . He paused in front of the strange man, and seemed to be asking him some tentative questions. Unfortunately, the Purple soul’s chatter was still undecipherable to anyone aside from the other souls.

“AH, I DO APOLOGIZE.

WHILE I ADMIRE YOUR CURIOSITY.  
I AM NOT ABLE TO UNDERSTAND YOU.

AND THERE IS LITTLE TIME I FEAR.  
TO SUFFICIENTLY EXPLAIN THIS MECHANISM.

BUT DO NOT FEAR.

YOU WILL HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH OPPORTUNITIES.  
TO LEARN ABOUT THE WORLD.

YOUR JOURNEY AWAITS, YOUNG SCHOLAR.”

The shape in the dark shifted as a shadowy skeletal arm appeared, waving the soul towards the gateway. 

Somewhat satisfied by the mystery man’s response, the light of the Purple soul brightened. A second life of wonders and exploration waiting! The portal crackled as Purple entered and disappeared.

The Blue soul soon followed. She paused momentarily before the whirring portal, still trembling. Yellow once again called out, but Blue ignored her. She seemed to have firmly decided and was sticking with her decision. With a large bound, the Blue soul jumped towards the portal and vanished.

Cyan was very still, facing the portal and frozen with indecision. The chance at a second life seemed to have an equally strong pull as the warm light behind her beckoning her home. 

Green sensing Cyan’s discomfort moved close by. Yellow watched all this in silence.

Cyan heard it at that moment. It was a voice that came from that warm light itself, so familiar. She turned around and faced the sound, listening intently as her soul’s light flashed. She looked back towards Green and Yellow. The others seemed puzzled at her reaction. 

Cyan realized the others couldn’t hear it. She moved closer, and closer to the light…

“AH…

YOU’VE CHOSEN TO PASS ON.

QUITE UNDERSTANDABLE.  
YOUR FAMILY MUST BE WAITING.  
FAREWELL, YOUNG-

...?

HUH.”

She was no longer facing the light.. Now she had turned back in the other direction, moving steadily instead towards the portal. She paused, stopping right by its edge.

“CHANGED YOUR MIND I SEE.”

The Cyan soul made no sound, but slowly bobbed up and down as if nodding to him, then turned back towards the portal. The sparks were flying from lightning on the sides, and the wind blew furiously around the portal on the edge, but the Cyan soul did not flinch. She faced the center. Then at last, she entered and disappeared, leaving Green close behind.

The Green soul on the precipice of the portal now. He seemed to have decided almost immediately, but waited with the rest of the souls. But one more person for him to check on. Green turned back towards the Yellow soul, as if to say, “what about you?”

Yellow bobbed up and down in confirmation. She was going in as well. Green entered the portal and vanished. 

Yellow was right behind him but paused on its precipice. She slowly turned towards the stranger and emitted a low hum of warning. 

But there was no response from the Mystery Man as he watched her silently from the dark. 

The Yellow soul huffed, turned back towards the sparking gateway, and was the last soul to enter. 

The portal closed with a mechanical crackling, and any leftover sparks and noises soon died down into silence and darkness. And the Mystery Man chuckled. 

“ALL SIX CHOSE A SECOND LIFE.  
MOST EXCELLENT...

THIS EXPERIMENT.  
IS OFF TO A PROMISING START.”

“I see I missed them already.” A new voice entered the void.

“YOU’RE LATE.”

“My apologies. Frisk took longer than I anticipated to speak with Asriel after the battle. They are currently unconscious and have yet to wake up in the barrier room. Now, I must admit I am curious. Which ones chose to return?”

“ALL.”

“All of them??” Incredulously the new voice asked. 

“YES, ALL SIX.”

“That. Is surprising.” Several moments of silence passed awkwardly.

Then their voice took on an accusatory tone. “You did give them ALL of the disclosures?”

“YES.”

“About their bodies and the magic affecting them?

“YES.”

“About the very painful experience of going through that machine?”

“IT WAS IMPLIED.”

“And they were all aware that they had to give their consent first, not like LAST time, correct??”

“YES!”

A sigh of relief filled the air.

“Ok, good. I must say, this went far better than I’d expected. Still, I am surprised. Most humans would balk at this and choose rather to pass on as they are, but they all chose to give up their humanity. I have severely underestimated them.”

“AH…YES?"

Another awkward silence filled the void.

“Gaster…” The accusatory tone returned.

“MMM, YES?”

”You did remember to mention that fact to them? That the portal machine will change them, and that they’ll be waking up as monsters? You did give them that VERY important, OBVIOUS disclosure, correct?

Gaster?”

Gaster??

Gaster???”

“...

OOPS.”

* * *

Somewhere in the Underground, close to the throne room of the King’s castle, six coffins slowly opened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... here's my first foray into writing a fanfic! (Gulps nervously). The idea sparked from a crack theory I made one day on what happened with the empty coffins at the end of the True Pacifist route, and then the idea wouldn't go away. Any constructive critiques are welcome as I'm fairly new to A03 and fiction writing.


	2. The Staring Child

_*One week after the fall of the barrier*_

The underground was in chaos, It was a chaos unseen since 180X, when the Temmies had decided to build an “empire” and attempted to conquer the Underground armed with spoons. (They were fortunately driven back into what is currently known as Temmie Village by a hired army of bodybuilders flexing at them, but that is another story). 

No, this chaos was of the very, very happy kind, the kind caused as if you were packing very quickly to move permanently to a vacation island. And for the monsters, with a barrier no longer hanging over their heads, the entire surface world was now their oyster and vacation island, so to speak. 

The peace talks between humans and the monster ambassador had gone very well and moved very quickly (with the assistance of monster gold, naturally). Toriel, Asgore, and the young ambassador were still on the surface in lengthy discussions with the humans regarding finances, farmland, access to human dumps for recycling, employment, voting rights, etc. So far, the humans already seemed agreeable with letting Monsters live nearby on Mt. Ebbot and the surrounding countryside. 

Asgore had given out the degree that all monsters be ready to move out as soon as possible, bringing as many supplies with them, so as not to be a burden on humans. And by “bringing as many supplies,” that meant bringing EVERYTHING. They hadn't gotten permission to use the human recycling centers, let alone travel through human lands several miles away to access them. They would likely have to build their own homes above ground as the humans did not nearly have enough housing available. The humans were also oddly possessive of the forest trees and wouldn’t allow them to be felled for timber. But fortunately monsters are anything if quick and innovative when it comes to recycling underground. 

In Snowdin, many of the buildings were gutted, with temporary, makeshift tents in place, preparing for surface living. The dogs were doing their part, pulling around sleds carrying folk’s luggage as far as Waterfall. Icewolf, instead of tossing ice blocks, tossed floating wooden crates of the Snowdin resident’s supplies into the river, to be picked up shortly before Hotland. 

Shopkeeper bunny operated out of a tent (still selling cinnabuns and goods), with her home walls, roof, and bricks neatly stacked behind. Grillby’s was still intact, as it was the main hub for food and gatherings in Snowdin. A giant farewell party was being planned for it’s closing, and celebrating it's eventual reopening above ground. Papyrus had completed dismantling his “coolshed," and was now working on carefully packing up his puzzles in the Snowdin woods to use above ground. After all, the humans should definitely appreciate monster puzzles! Every monster was doing their part and helping their neighbors cheerfully. 

Except... Well, it seems that not all packing and moving was going smoothly for everyone in the Underground. 

There were four snow-covered wooden buildings (or rather one somehow) that existed in the caves. Three of them were sentry stations, still left up as places to get information and guide monsters as they journeyed to the surface. 

The forth, however, was an illegal hot dog stand that seemed to have no intention of being moved or dismantled, to the growing annoyance of one particular monster.

***

In Hotland, the hot dog stand flickered in and out of existence. Several paper notices ordering removal of the station were nailed to it. The paper notices fluttered off one by one each time the wooden stand popped in and out of sight. Then finally, the mysterious hot dog stand vanished.

Pop! The light seemed to flicker out and back on. A short, stout skeleton monster suddenly appeared. Despite having a very large, permanent grin on his face, there was a look of weary exasperation in his eyesockets. The annoyed expression vanished, and brightened greatly in relief at the sight of the empty ruts in the ground where a hot dog station used to be. 

“finally… was beginning to think it’d never budge. heh. only took me six hours to get this thing to work.” He tapped not-so-lightly on a strange machine in his hand that argued back with the occasional defiant “bzzzt” sounds. 

“welp, one down, a whole house to....” Sans turned around preparing for another jump through space, then looked up at that moment. The lights in his sockets narrowed to a pinprick.

 **“** Oh for **-”** A series of somewhat colorful words were muttered under the short skeleton’s breath. 

While the hot dog stand was indeed no longer where it once was, it was however, on the OPPOSITE side of the cave room. A vulkin and a pyrope were already in line waiting for a hot dog. Sans let out a groan and rubbed his eyesockets. “back to the drawing board.” 

The light flickered out, then back on, and Sans was back in snowy woods standing beside the original sentry station. It was identical to the hot dog stand, exactly identical down to the last line of the wood grain on the station counter.

He plopped down in the chair behind the stand and began tinkering with the stubborn handheld device again. He reasoned that it had to be the hot dog stand’s close proximity to the Core that was causing the problem. Space/time always had always acted more… unpredictable in that area. It was definitely NOT because he never thought to make sure his failsafe was foolproof before using untested quantum magic to make duplicates of the same sentry station. And what’s worse, the tinkering with the hot dog stand seemed to be making it... more dangerously unstable than he liked. 

It was unusual to see the skeleton put this much effort into any task, but the stubborn hot dog stand seemed to be touching on a sore point. There were few things that Sans was proud about in himself. But he did place high stock in his quantum magic abilities. Teleporting the house up to the surface once he found a place to put it? Just about as difficult as junior jumble. Making an infinite joke book in itself? A walk in the park. Playing pranks on brothers and certain humans across time and space? In his sleep (and literally in a few cases)

But today, a hotdog stand was stumping the skeleton with a quantum magic and physics PhD.

“Bzz bzz, bzz buzz.” San’s phone began to vibrate. He pulled out his phone from his blue hoodie pocket. It took a few moments for the phone to upload and catch up with the message history on the official Snowdin Sentries group chat. The chat had some speech to text features, handy for some monsters whose paws made it difficult to text.

It was an alert for a monster kid roaming in the Snowdin wood without a parent (and suspected of stealing a bandanna and cinnabun from the shopkeeper bunny). Now, this was hardly the first alert regarding a stay kid these days. With the chaos of the Underground move, a buddy system was set up for the more vulnerable monsters, and any children had to stay with their parent/guardian to make sure none were lost or misplaced. Not all were cooperative as it had taken the Sentries a full day and a half to round up the wild teens hiding in the woods. 

And from the deluge of messages that came after, the Sentries certainly had their hands full with this new stray. The most recent messages were:

 **Doggo** : Spotted kid moving! South of snowman

 **Doggo** : Apprehending now

 **Doggo** : SDKFJDKFLDKJFSKDJ

 **Doggo** : KID BIT ME! 

**Doggo** : THEY RAN WEST IN WOODS & DIDN’T STOP MOVING!

 **Dogamy_Dogressa** : we’re heading yr way and backing you up!

 **GreatrDg** : Woof woof!!

 **LesserDg** : Yip yip, arf! 

**Doggo** : TARGET SEEN MOVING, CHASING NOW!

 **Dogamy_Dogressa** : SMELL CONFIRMED! FOLLOWING & CHASING SCENT! 

**GreaterDg** : WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF!!!!

 **LesserDg** : YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP, YAP, YAP!!!

Sans chuckled. “sounds like they got a feisty one.” At this point the messages on the phone ceased. The sounds of many dogs barking and howling could be heard increasing in volume in the east.

He briefly (VERY briefly) considered helping to track the kid down, so as to take a break from his ever-infuriating hot dog stand problem. But nah, it would just be too much exercise. Still, the skeleton pondered to himself. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to take a snack break. 

Sans reached out and pulled a ketchup bottle out of the stand’s condiment section, and shook it, satisfied by the weight of the leftover contents in the bottle. Now, the potato chisps. He reached out his hand again and, using his teleportation magic, pulled out something out of thin air! It was a… a box of spaghetti? He put it back; didn’t want to disturb Papyrus’s food museum. 

“now, where did I leave it? cabinet maybe?” 

He reached out across space using his teleportation magic and raided the skeleton brother's pantry next. He apparated a… box of oatmeal with dinosaur eggs. “nope.” 

The following attempt apparated a cup with the words “death before decaf” written on it. It also had a picture of a skull and crossbones on it. Sans loved that mug but it still wasn't a bag of chisps.

"nope again…”

The counter of his sentry station began to fill up with various, miscellaneous objects as he searched for the elusive snack.

He tried the fridge one more time in a different section. Finally, the bag of chisps emerged! But wait… Sans crinkled and shook the bag and his eyesockets furrowed. The bag was empty. 

Slowly, with a resigned sigh, Sans stood up from the chair, took a step forward, and the light flickered. No longer was he in the snowy woods. He was now in the True Lab, standing in front of a vending machine.

He casually whistled a jazzy tune that he often heard playing in Grillby's, all while inserting the gold in the machine slot for two bags worth of potato chisps. Once he retrieved the goods, he turned around, still whistling as the light flickered, and Sans was back again in the snowy woods. 

“EEP!” A high pitched squeal filled the chilly air, cutting off San’s jaunty whistle.

Sans whirled around, looking for the source of the sudden sound. He saw two bushes move and rustle nearby before growing still, and in the corner of his eyesocket, he noticed something resting on the ground and raised a bony eyebrow.

“huh.”

The box of oatmeal, previously on the counter of the sentry station, now lay on the snowy floor, and beside it, a set of small, child-sized footsteps running away to the bushes.

For a few moments the woods were silent as Sans stood there staring, pondering the odd situation. Then a baying dog sounded in the distance, and the facts clicked together in his skull (or seemed to click together). This could take some special handling...

His grin relaxed and his voice took on an easygoing tone.

“well what do ya know? a box of oatmeal just fell over all by itself. can’t leave that there, cold oatmeal tastes terrible,” he announced to no one in particular as he picked up the box and placed it back on the counter. 

Sans sauntered back over to the sentry chair, whistling again, and sat down. He was able to catch a glimpse of a pair of glowing, cyan-colored eyes staring at him from the bushes. A distant bark sounded in the woods and the eyes seemed to shrink back further into the bushes. Sans began to talk to “himself.” 

“from the sounds of it, the dogs sure are trying hard to find that kid. they sound scary all right, but they’re all bark and no bite. they’re probably just worried and want to bring them back to their mom and dad. you know, so they don’t get left behind when all of us leave for the surface."

“guess i should be looking too, but…" Sans casually shrugged, "i'm on break."

“not really interested in capturing anyone. don’t really care about that stolen stuff either. besides, they must have been hungry if they had to steal food. anyways, snack time.”

Sans made a minor show of bringing out the two bags of potato chisps from his hoodie pockets and crinkled the bags.

“huh? accidentally bought two bags. shame i don’t have someone to share one of them with. welp, guess i’ll just have to eat them both.” 

He opened one of the bags and began eating the chisps rather noisily. There was still no movement or sound from the bushes. He could sense them staring at him (or rather the bag of chisps) intently but it wasn’t quite enough to get them to come out. 

Mmm... Maybe he should clear off the countertop for his visitor. He picked up the mug, made a show of putting it away, and with a brief flicker of light, the mug vanished in thin air! The bushes rustled slightly as the light blue eyes seemed to brighten. That really got their attention. 

Sans began vanishing objects off the countertop. He picked up objects, and put them away into the air, one by one, making sure the “magic show” moved further and further out of the kid’s line of sight. The kid would have to move closer in order to watch it clearly.

The bushes rustled again. A few moments later, there was the sound of very light, hesitant footsteps crunching in the snow, moving closer, closer, and closer. Sans’s grin slightly widened as the magic show continued, pretending to ignore them. 

A very small skeleton monster kid’s head slowly peered up, just barely visible over the ledge of the countertop in front of the sentry station. Her large cyan eyes with pupils seemed too large in her skull as they widened at each new disappearing object. She wore a very old froggit-shaped, knitted hat with a red ribbon on top and carried a small blue backpack. 

The sentry station countertop was nearly empty now with one last object remaining. Sans picked up the box of oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.

“this brand, they used to fall pretty regularly in the dump, but one day, no more fell in. can’t find them anymore. so this kind is pretty rare. it’s my little brother’s favorite so i made sure to save any last boxes i could find for him.” 

The kid’s head tilted at his mention of a brother. The box of oatmeal was put back where it belonged and vanished. She still looked very wary and ready to bolt at any moment, but her curiosity was keeping her here so far. Sans began to address the kid directly. 

“don’t worry kid, on the surface, imagine all the new food brands out there. oatmeal, cornmeal, snailmeal...” The kid’s face scrunched up at that one. 

“heh heh, snailmeal is somewhat of an acquired taste. i have a friend who loves cooking with it though. now my brother, papyrus, he’s a skeleton too, and well… like you he doesn’t have the “stomach” for snailmeal either.” Sans winked. 

The kid’s face scrunched up more, puzzled…. A few moments passed before she fully realized the pun and let out a very small, muffled giggle. Good, a positive reaction to that one. 

“liked that one huh? my bro loves puns too, although he’ll never admit it directly. hey, by any chance, have you taken music class yet in school?” She shook her head. “no? well then you’re in for a treat, because us skeletons have certain... favorite instruments.” 

Sans tossed the unopened bag of chisps to the child and instead of vanishing an object, he made one appear, pulling out a musical instrument out of thin air. The child’s jaw dropped.

“first, there’s the xylophone, which is the incorrect pronunciation. but us skeletons know it's really called a… ‘xylobone.’” He winked and played a short rendition of “spooky scary skeletons” on it. The kid’s eyes were bright and she looked slightly more relaxed, but not fully there yet. He put away the xylophone and retrieved a sloping brass instrument. 

“then there’s the saxophone, which is correctly pronounced as the… “saxobone.’” The child quietly giggled again.

Sans paused, looking a little tentative while holding up the instrument, and turned to the kid “gotta warn you, not very good at this one so you might wanna plug your ears.” She nodded and pressed her ears under the froggit hat. The saxophone began playing, with several loud, sour, sharp notes at first, then the tune eventually settled into a slightly off-key song that was jazzy and almost-aggressive sounding. The kid bobbed their head with the music. “well, not my best but glad you liked it.” He put away the saxophone. 

“now, the last, but not least, and my personal favorite. the famous... trombone." Sans made the next brass instrument appear.. “and fortunately, this is the one instrument that everyone does manage to pronounce right.” He began playing the tune he had been whistling earlier while getting potato chisps. After a short bit of playing, he finished up with a dramatic flourish. The kid clapped politely, smiling and looking much more relaxed now. Ok, it was time to get down to business. 

“thank you, thank you.” Sans gave a little bow, then put away the trombone. “now… to pay you back for being such a wonderful audience, how can i help you today?” 

He casually leaned back in his chair and gestured with his head towards the wooden stand around him. “this sentry station is now technically an information booth, and it’s my temporary job to help any monsters with the great move and find their way. you lost?” The kid shook their head. 

“no? then what brings you out so far out here? there’s much to see ‘cept for snow, trees, and well, me.” 

She looked down and made no sound in response. Sans realized the kid didn’t like to talk much, but that wasn’t a problem, he could work with that. 

“are you looking for something... or someone?” 

There was an affirmation to both written on her face, and she glanced westward. Sans looked in that direction and noticed there were two sets of a child’s footprints in the snow, one heading towards, and one coming back from the direction of the Ruins. 

“all the way from the ruins??” Sans asked rather incredulously. She nodded. Sans raised his bony eyebrows, impressed. She had somehow managed to get to all the way to and from the Ruins without being detected, till now. 

“buddy, that’s a heck of a long walk. did you find that special something or someone?” 

She nodded, she turned her backpack around, put her hand in one of it’s pockets, and pulled out a small object. 

“Huh.” It was a human’s toy knife. 

He wasn’t sure that a monster child so young should have something like that. Then again, he remembered Undyne telling stories about her childhood. Before she had developed her spear magic, she had a collection of human knives attached to sticks. And naturally, she used to chase around her fellow kids around with those "spears." Anyways, he’d leave that matter for the parents/guardian to handle for now. 

“glad you found that something, but uh, be careful with that thing kid.” Sans winked his right eyesocket. The skeleton child nodded and put away the knife, but she didn’t look fully satisfied..

“however... from the look on your face, i take it you haven’t found that someone yet?” 

Looking despondent, she shook her head slowly.

“a friend?” No reaction on that one.

“sibling?” No reaction still.

“a parent?” The kid looked up, ok progress.

“mother?” The kid’s eyes widened and looked at Sans.

“ah, it’s your mom right?”

She nodded vigorously. 

“then i think i can help you there.” Sans winked he pulled out his phone again and started tapping on it. “i do have to stay here at this station to finish up some unfinished work, but the other sentries are good at finding people, so i’m going to call up one of the sentry dogs and- huh?” 

The child’s eyes suddenly widened in fear as she shook her head frantically, gesturing towards the section of her arm not covered by clothing.

“your arm? no, arm bones? oh... bones. gotcha. afraid the dog will eat you up?” 

She nodded fearfully. This was turning out to be more work than he expected. Sans recalled that Papyrus had a phase like when he was younger. Shoot even he’d been like that as a little kid. A fear of dogs seemed to be common for young skeleton children. Wait, Papyrus… Wasn’t he nearby dismantling his puzzles? That could work. 

“don’t worry. i know the dogs, they’re all friends. hang out with them at grillby’s all the time. they've never tried to gnaw on my bones.” (Except for that one time someone forgot to feed Lesser Dog, but that wasn’t something to mention to the kid). 

“but… tell you what. my brother, papyrus is sort of an unofficial member of the sentries. he’s not too far away, and once the dogs have calmed down, he can escort you personally to an official sentry member, and then they’ll help find your mom. no risk of being chewed on with him around. what do you think? that sound better to you?”

The froggit-cap wearing child considered that option for several moments, deep in thought, pondering the trustworthiness of this strange, smiling skeleton man who liked jokes and played music for her. She finally gave a single nod. 

“great. you’re gonna love hanging out with pap, he’s cool.” Sans dialed on his phone and Papyrus picked up almost immediately. His voice was easily heard through the phone even though it wasn’t on speaker. 

“THIS IS THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”

“hey bro.”

“SANS! THIS’D BETTER NOT BE ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR PHONE PRANKS! I’M VERY BUSY TRYING TO GET THIS PUZZLE UNSTUCK AND DEALING WITH-”

“nah its a bit of a serious request, although that does sounds like a sticky-”

“SANS-”

“heh, ok ok. 

down to the point, got this kid who’s out by herself looking for her mom. but she’s rather spooked of the dogs, scared she’ll be chewed on as she’s a skeleton monster. needs a cool adult to help her not be afraid.

i’m stuck at the station by the ruins entrance for the moment, but uh... any chance you could come over and walk her over to one of the sentries?”

“WELL, CERTAINLY YES... AS I’M A VERY COOL ADULT! BUT-” There were frustrated sounds of exasperation, and the clanking of mechanical parts. 

“SOMEONE IGNORED MY WARNING SIGNS AND WALKED INTO ONE OF THE STILL-ACTIVE PUZZLE TRAPS. 

THE DEACTIVATION SWITCH IS FROZEN IN PLACE SO I’M HAVING TO WALK HIM THROUGH DOING THE PUZZLE. 

BUT GIVE ME ABOUT 10 MINUTES AND I’LL BE THERE!” 

Distantly in the background, a grating, irritating monster’s voice could be heard complaining. 

“FOR THE LAST TIME, JERRY. IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU WERE LOOKING ON YOUR PHONE AND IGNORED ALL 8 WARNING SIGNS AROUND THE PUZZLE!!

MAKE THAT 30 MINUTES SANS.” The phone hung up. 

Sans put away his cellphone. “heh heh. pap’s on his way, kid."

"now, while it was great putting on that magic show, my break’s over and i gotta get back to work on this here thingamajig.” Sans indicated at the little machine to the side. “but in the meantime i hope you don’t mind hanging out here for a bit until he comes?” 

The skeleton child gave a thumbs up while eating a few chips out of the potato chisp bag. 

“great, let me know if you need anything.” One kid-sized problem taken care of, all without having to get up from his station.

Sans sighed as he turned his attention back to the strange hand-held machine. It was covered in buttons, switches, and a screen currently showing 4 dots on a map with one of them slowly blinking red.

That wasn’t good. It seemed to have destabilized further since he last checked it. He pulled out a notepad filled with complicated-looking equations, and began marking on it while quietly muttering. Mmm. if he tweaked that equation, that could work… 

He began to do some calculations in his head but soon found he had a hard time focusing. There was a somewhat familiar prickling sensation on the back of his neck, like the feeling of… Sans glanced to the side. The kid was watching, no, staring at him. And standing very close to him (too close). He hadn’t even heard her walk through the snow. 

“huh? need something?" She shook her head. “bored?” A shrug. 

“sorry, i don’t have any magic tricks left, just boring adult paperwork and getting this box to work, see?” He showed her the notebook. The child peered at it curiously. The scribbles were unintelligible to her (but it reminded her of the writings she saw in the lab once). 

“tell you what, if you’re bored, with all this snow around in short supply in that little area there,” Sans winked, “why don’t you make a snowmonster? papyrus made a pretty cool one too the other day and i bet he’d love to see yours."

Sans gently pushed the child in the direction of a little clearing off to the side. She walked over to a little clearing by the sentry and began gathering little poffs of snow. Sans tried to recenter himself and focus on the notebook scribbles, but soon he got that sensation of being watched again. 

The kid was still staring at him. She was watching him while slowly building a mound of snow, and being very quiet. It was admittedly a bit… unnerving. 

Now, he had no trouble with entertaining an audience, but trying to work while someone was observing him was more than a little distracting. Wait... that’s it, a distraction. Now, where did he put it? Then Sans remembered, he still kept it in the second drawer in his bedroom.

He pulled out a small toy made of bone and metal, looking like a slightly mechanical, miniature, and far cuter version of a Gaster blaster. This used to work on Papyrus in the early days when he wouldn’t leave him alone while trying to do schoolwork. It was designed to occasionally hover in place temptingly within reach, but fly away at the last moment when the chaser reached for it. Great to distract kids with. 

The child peered at the object curiously. “ever played with a “catch em?” Sans asked the child. She shook her head. 

“like the name suggests, you gotta try and catch it, either with your hands, or with magic.” He activated it and the toy’s skull eyes lit up. It started flying and flitting around. “knock yourself out kid.” The child’s bright eyelights widened, not unlike those of a cat who had spotted a new target, as her head followed the flying toy. She got up, left her sad little snow mound, and began chasing it.

Sans chuckled; Now he could finally get down to business. The sooner this was fixed, the sooner he could take a nap. 

After 10 minutes of calculations, muttering self-talk, intermittent potato chisp snacking, and pressing buttons, the red indicator on the screen had finally stopped blinking. Moreover, he’d finally figured out how to remove the hot dog stand! It’d take just a little careful rewiring. He opened a side panel on the handheld machine revealing a series of tiny wires and circuits, powered by a form of magical electricity. He pulled out some wiring tools and very carefully began the rewiring process. One wrong move and- well... it could turn into another hoodie-spawning couch fiasco.

All was quiet in the woods as he worked, too quiet. 

Sans was too engrossed in fixing the handheld device to notice the suspicious lack of noise. He’d also failed to notice the tiny blaster now hovering over his chair, just over to his side. The child was nowhere in sight until...

“BAMMM!” A skeleton child suddenly pounced and caught the toy blaster, slamming into San’s chair with a surprising force. Startled, Sans yelped with exclamation properly capitalized. An accidental surge of magic left his hand and entered the device he was holding. And the impact on the chair caused him to jump up in surprise and hit the top of his skull on the stand roof with a loud, dull thud. Both the skeleton man and the sparking, smoking hand-held device fell to the snowy ground with a “thumph.” 

A rapid beeping could be heard from the hand-held device. On it’s screen, the red dot began to blink faster, and faster, and faster.

Then it went suddenly went quiet and the red blimp disappeared.

But after a several moments, a new red dot appeared on the screen.

Then the number of dots began to multiply…

* * *

_“What. The. Hell?” A tan-colored cat wearing an MTT apron and hat stood in front of his usual workplace, mouth agape. He was done. He was so done. It was like a bad video game glitch. What looked like a wooden hot dog stand “clipped” through the MTT Brand Burger Emporium. Hot dogs and glamburgers fell out of disjointed shelves, with various condiments and snow on the floor. Burgerpants stared at the strange scene for several long moments. Then he took the rolled-up cigarette that he was smoking out of his mouth, eyed it suspiciously, then put the cigarette out._


	3. The Feisty Skele-Pup

Papyrus’s eyesocket twitched. It had been forty minutes and counting so far. FORTY minutes. 

His red boot tapped impatiently on the snowy ground. Even when Papyrus tried to explain the puzzle steps quickly and clearly, Jerry had complained and argued the entire time. Moreover, the rather rude and gross monster kept getting distracted by the occasional phone call. Now, they were FINALLY on the last step of the puzzle and all Jerry needed to do next was push that one block to the left, then flip the switch. However, the frustrating monster was taking YET another phone call (the sixth so far). 

Papyrus refused to let Jerry get to him. He would NOT let him get to him. He refused to lose his cool. He would definitely get Jerry out of the puzzle pit! Now, most monsters would happily ditch Jerry, and reluctantly Papyrus agreed with them. Jerry was a very... trying person to work with, let alone stand within ten feet of his odorous presence, but Papyrus knew he couldn’t just abandon Jerry down in the puzzle pit as that would be very uncool of him! He knew he had to be patient. He’s the Great Papyrus after all!

Nonetheless, the tall skeleton couldn’t help but give a very large sigh as he pulled out his cell phone to call Sans with another update. Sans still hadn’t responded to the messages he sent at 30 minutes past, 31 minutes, 32 minutes, 33 minutes, etc. But that was pretty usual of his brother, too lazy to respond to messages promptly! He put away the phone with a frustrated "NYEH!'

He felt bad that it had gotten so late with a monster child waiting for him. He’d already planned his formal apology speech several minutes ago. But now, at this point he was also pondering if he shouldn’t just blast that reset lever with his- 

Suddenly, the sound of running and tree branches rustling nearby interrupted his train of thought. 

“You’ll never catch me alive!!!” A young child’s voice shouted from the woods near him. The yelling was followed by a series of barking and howling. The noises were getting closer and closer…

Suddenly a small skeleton monster kid wearing an orange striped shirt and an old bandana burst out of the trees! The kid was looking over their shoulder behind him and didn’t see the battle-body-wearing skeleton standing in the way. He collided into Papyrus with a loud “thumph," and fell back down onto the snowy ground. 

The child shook their head as he scrambled to his feet “Oof! Whoever you are, I’m not afraid to fight-” 

He stopped talking once he looked upwards, seeing Papyrus’s very tall frame and skull looming over him. His eyesockets widened and darkened. 

“THAT WAS A HARD FALL INDEED, YOUNG MONSTER! ” Papyrus offered a gloved hand to the child. “ARE YOU O-”

“Aaaaaahhhh!!!” the bandana-wearing kid screamed “A talking skeleton!!” 

In terror he scrambled backwards from Papyrus, tripping over the ice and snow a few times before finally collecting his footing and running away out of sight into the western woods. 

“NYEH??”

Papyrus had no time to ponder what just happened as the eastern woods rustled again. Several barking, heavily panting dogs emerged, running out from the trees. The pack slowed down to take a much-needed breather. 

“That (gasp) kid (gasp) is too damn fast!” Doggo exclaimed exhaustedly. 

Lesser Dog whined in agreement. Dogamy could only nod along as he tried to catch his breath. 

(Thud, thud) “Woof, woof...” Greater dog stepped out of the woods behind them, slowly step by step, before collapsing on the snow, panting. 

“Great, we’re about to lose Greater D. here.” Doggo groaned.

“We can’t (pant) give up,” Dogressa said “we have to catch that kid and bring him home, or else we can’t call ourselves Sentries! Come on, lets go!!!” 

The female beagle dog monster let out a loud bay, and the others followed with another chorus of barking, woofing, and yipping in response. The weary, but persevering dogs continued their chase and disappeared down the snowy path, leaving a very confuddled skeleton behind. 

“WHAT. THE. HECK???" Papyrus scratched his skull in bewilderment. Wait, he suddenly realized. That was a skeleton monster kid! Wasn’t that the one Sans called about? Oh no! The kid must have gotten tired of waiting with Sans and ran ahead! 

“SANS!! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WATCH THEM!” He groaned. As usual he had to pick up after his brother’s mess, and now he had to chase down a child who was oddly afraid of skeletons! He wondered if Sans had told them some really bad jokes.

He was about to start running after the monster child, but realized he was forgetting something, or rather someone. Jerry. 

He grimaced, then slowly turned around, looking back at the trapped, rude monster who had apparently finished his phone call.

“Yo, are you going to tell me how to get out of here or what?” 

Papyrus groaned in exasperation as he rubbed his face with a gloved hand. “OK, BUT WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS QUICK! THE FINAL STEP IS YOU HAVE TO PUSH THE-”

Jerry’s phone rang again. “Hold on,” Jerry said.

Papyrus’s eyes widened and popped out in outrage “JERRY DON’T YOU DA-”

Jerry ignored him and picked up and answered the phone with a hand he had just sneezed into earlier. “What? Yeah I’m still stuck, that weirdo hasn’t told me how to get out yet” 

Papyrus face-palmed.

“Right? His puzzles are so dumb. Can't believe he keeps making them.” Jerry continued talking into the phone ignoring Papyrus. “Besides his brother is just as weird-” 

Papyrus had already stopped listening to Jerry's at this point. His skull’s expression changed to something dangerously neutral. With a clenched teeth, and without a word, Papyrus turned around and ditched Jerry. 

* * *

"Finally (gasp)..." The boy lay on his back in the snow under some trees, heavily panting and trying to recover his breath. Finally... He’d managed to lose the dogs! Sweat poured out from under a bandanna wrapped around his skull. The bandanna had a picture of abs on it.

He touched his bony hand to his forehead. He had been so happy to find it again! He wasn’t sure why the shopkeeper got so upset when he took it; he told her it was his after all!

Oh wait, he suddenly remembered. He also took that cinnamon bun. Probably shouldn’t have done that, he realized. When the dogs started going after him. They could easily track him because he smelled of the pilfered cinnamon goods. Luckily, falling in the snow earlier must have rubbed off some of the scent.

He didn’t blame the dogs too much and he’d been careful not to punch them. When he first fell underground, in self defense he had... Anyways, he reloaded his save file out of guilt that time. He still liked dogs for the most part, but not when they’re chasing him while he was all bones! 

Bones… He fought back a rising shudder in his chest. 

Then that scary looking skeleton just had to come along! He knew skeletons were the bad guys in all the stories. He did NOT want to see it again. He tried very hard not to think about the fact he was a skeleton now too, lest he start crying again. 

He pounded the snow several times with a clenched fist. The boy refused to believe it. He’s still human, not a skeleton monster! Doesn’t matter if he looks like one! It must be a trick by that stupid mystery man. That’s right, it’s just a trick. After all, he could eat that cinnamon bun, and skeletons can’t eat… right?? 

Calming down, and still determined to believe that he was human, he sat up. The boy wondered if Cyan was done looking around yet. Cyan was good at sneaking around, impressively good. She was also surprisingly good at a fight, so he wasn't worried too much about her. He'd tried getting her to spar with him, multiple times, but she refused every time. That is, until one day he'd annoyed her so much that before he knew it, she ko'd him with one blow to a certain sensitive area. He left her alone after that with a newfound respect. And she'd made a valuable partner in helping him escape from Yellow's watchful eye. Now they were free to search the underground for their old items.

Speaking of, he still couldn’t find his pink gloves, and he figured they had probably been found and taken by someone else. But he still wanted to look around more before he went back to the others. Especially that one puzzle with the spikes! It looked so cool. 

Yes, that’s it! His spirits began to lift. Maybe he could find it again and solve it! With his optimism rejuvenated, he bounded up to his feet and charged forward before he’d fully decided which direction to turn. The trees and rocks passed by in a blur. 

Eventually he recognized a familiar snowy path, but a strange sight stopped him in his tracks. 

That definitely hadn’t been there before. 

The boy walked closer to the wooden building. It looked like another sentry station with two trees that seemed to be strangely growing right through it, as well as a sign on it advertising prices for hot dogs. No one was running it. 

He curiously looked inside, there were hot dogs, hot dog buns, and various condiments strewn about. There was also a piece of paper taped just under the counter-top to the side, showing schedules for what looked like multiple sentry stations. He was still hungry from all the running, even after eating the cinnamon bun, so he decided to try one of the strange-looking hot dogs.

Curious, he bit into it. 

Bleh! It was cold and definitely didn’t taste like the usual mystery meat! But... It wasn’t horrible. Maybe some condiments would help the taste? He looked around at the different condiment bottles. A nearly empty bottle of ketchup, a bottle of mayo, a jar of relish, and a nearly full bottle of mustard. He was about to reach for the jar of relish, but then his heart (or lack of one) jumped in his throat as he heard the distinct sound of running footsteps coming closer, louder, and louder! 

He whipped around and his eyesockets widened and darkened in horror at the sight of Papyrus rushing towards him. No… Not that skeleton again!

The child screamed, dropped both the hot dog and relish bottle, and began running away down the path. Papyrus followed close behind him, although he did a double take at the hot dog stand with a loud “WHAT THE-? SANS!!” 

The kid had no idea who Sans was, and was glad he wasn’t him if the skeleton man was mad at him! For now he had to get away! He ran through a long stretch of the path, trying to zig-zag between the trees in attempt to lose the skeleton, but it was still hot on his tail close behind. The boy prided himself on being fast, faster than most people including most monsters, but this skeleton... he couldn't seem to outrun it!

The boy nearly slipped again on the snow as he turned the corner into a different path, rushing forward. The narrow path looked clear at first but then- “No, no no no!” The path ended at the precipice of a rocky, snowy cliff, with a rushing river below. It was a dead end. 

He whipped around to try and turn back the other way, but it was too late. Papyrus blocked the way.

“NYEH HEH HEH! YOU ARE FAST INDEED! BUT I AM FORTUNATELY FASTER. I WAS WORRIED! WHY DIDN’T YOU WAIT WITH-”

“Let me go!” The young boy stood his ground as he looked around the cliff path, trying to find an escape route past Papyrus.

“LET YOU GO? YOUNG SKELETON-”

“I’m not a skeleton!!”

“-YOUNG SKELETON” Papyrus continued despite the interruption again, “I CANNOT LET YOU GO BY YOURSELF IN THESE PARTS OF THE WOODS! 

IT IS TOO DANGEROUS! THERE ARE STILL-ACTIVE PUZZLES, SANS’S HOT DOG STAND (WHICH IS USUALLY IN A DIFFERENT LOCATION), AND YOU COULD GET LOST IN THE GREAT MOVE!

BUT DO NOT WORRY!” Papyrus flipped back his scarf, and the scarf flapped dramatically in the wind. 

“THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL TAKE YOU TO THE SENTRIES SO YOU ARE NOT AFRAID.” Papyrus held out his gloved hand. “AND THE SENTRIES CAN TAKE YOU HOME TO YOUR MOTHER!” Papyrus grinned, waiting expectantly.

“No! You’re lying!” 

Papyrus’s grin faltered, his head tilting in confusion. 

“I’m not… not afraid of you! And I’m not letting you take me. Let me go!” The child was shaking, standing in a defensive pose, holding up his fists. “I’ll fight you. And I’ll… I'll defeat you!” he pointed at Papyrus with a trembling hand. 

Papyrus was baffled. Not only did this child seem afraid of him, but he was challenging the Great Papyrus to a fight! It made no sense! Didn’t he want to find his mother and go home? Papyrus rubbed his jaw thoughtfully, trying to figure out what was going on in the child’s mind.

Wait a minute… didn’t Undyne once talk about how she challenged the king one day as a child? Yes... that was it! Of course! It all makes sense now! 

“NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!” Papyrus let out a hearty laugh. The boy shrunk back slightly from the sudden outburst.. 

“I SEE WHAT IS GOING ON! WHAT YOU REALLY WANTED… WAS TO FIGHT ME ALL ALONG!”

The child highly disagreed with this assumption. He tightened his fists and tried to stop them from shaking, standing his ground. 

“THAT’S WHY YOU WERE ACTING SCARED! YOU WERE SHY AND RAN AWAY!"

The boy breathed in deep, preparing to fight.

"YOU WERE HIDING YOUR FEELINGS BECAUSE… YOU WANTED TO MEET THE GREAT PAPYRUS, YOUR HERO!"

The boy stared and tilted his head in confusion. What?

“NYEH HEH HEH HEH! DO NOT WORRY YOUNG ONE! I UNDERSTAND MY PRESENCE MUST BE VERY OVERWHELMING! I WILL STILL NEED TO TAKE YOU TO THE SENTRIES AFTER THIS, BUT WE HAVE STILL TIME TO SPAR NOW! I HEARTILY ACCEPT YOUR REQUEST TO ENGAGE IN A DUEL!"

A duel? The boy gaped, jaw wide open, trying to comprehend the strange skeleton’s words as Papyrus brought up rows of glowing light blue and white bones from the ground. 

“NYEH HEH! YOU ARE MORE THAN WELCOME TO TAKE THE FIRST TURN! I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING WHAT MAGIC ATTACKS YOU HAVE!

“But I- I-, I don’t have any magic attacks!” the child exclaimed.

“WHAT? YOU HAVEN’T DEVELOPED YOUR BULLETS YET?" 

The boy shook his head. 

"I SEE…

BUT NO WORRIES! IT IS PERFECTLY UNDERSTANDABLE! EVEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, DIDN’T DEVELOP MY FIRST ATTACK UNTIL I WAS SEVEN!”

“HERE!” Papyrus, tossed a long bone towards the boy. 

“YOU CAN USE THIS IN THE DUEL!” He also made a pile of bones appear beside the child. “AND THESE ARE EXTRAS THAT YOU CAN USE FOR BULLETS!” 

“WHENEVER YOU’RE READY!” Papyrus stood there, grinning and waiting.

“I…” The boy picked up the bone in one hand, recoiling somewhat at the fact that he was holding a real bone. This was definitely not turning out the way he expected, not at all, and not with this weird skeleton! He thought about using the bone like a baseball bat, but that would probably bring him within reach of the very tall skeleton. He shuddered as he remembered that one movie with grabby skeletons that caught you if you got too close. 

He grabbed one of the glowing bones from the pile. They were surprisingly light, cool to the touch, and didn’t look dangerous. But the skeleton said they were bullets, and the bullets hurt when he fought monsters long ago. So with all his might, he threw the bone attack at Papyrus. 

Papyrus made a long bone appear in his hand and deftly blocked the attack. The flying bone ricocheted off the bone sword and hit a nearby tree, leaving a mark in its bark. “GOOD!” TRY THROWING MORE BULLETS AT A TIME ON YOUR NEXT TURN! NOW. MY TURN NOW!” Papyrus raised his other hand, summoning his next attack. 

A few rows of bones, jutting out from the snowy ground, moved towards the child. The boy’s eyesockets widened at the incoming attacks, and did his best to avoid them, jumping over the shorter ones. The longer ones however, looked too high to jump over! He tried blocking some of them with the long bone, like Papyrus did. It seemed to work, until he swung at one of the light blue bones. Ow! Then an incoming row of bones tripped him and he fell back on the snowy ground. Ow again. 

“NYEH HEH! GOOD! REMEMBER NOT TO MOVE WHEN FACING A BLUE ATTACK!” Papyrus waited for the bandanna-wearing monster child to make his next move.

The boy groaned and stood back up, brushing the snow off his pants. That didn’t hurt nearly as bad as he anticipated, much different from the usual feeling of bullets hitting his soul. Still, it wasn't much fun being hit by the magic attacks. Remembering Papyrus’s earlier suggestion, he grabbed a bunch of smaller bones from the pile. With all his effort once again, he launched them one by one at the skeleton. He didn’t notice that the bones had taken on an orange tinge as he threw them. 

“NYEH HEH HEH!” Papyrus charged forward through each of the orange attacks with a flourish. “GREAT! AMAZING! THOSE ARE VERY GOOD ORANGE ATTACKS!”

The boy’s jaw dropped when he saw the bones seemed to pass through Papyrus instead of hitting him. His attacks weren’t working! His courage and confidence began to falter.

“MY TURN AGAIN!” 

This time even taller rows of bones came forward, more blue than white. He tried his best to jump over and block the bones that weren’t blue, and stay still for the others but ouch! He kept getting hit and fell down again! 

Papyrus’s turn finally ended and it was the boy’s turn now.

He slowly stood back up, gazing at the bone in his trembling hand, considering his options. He was starting to slowly realize that he had no real chance of beating the skeleton monster. It was just too strong! He didn’t know how many more turns he could take, and the panic began to rise within his chest. The memories were coming back, that one monster that just wouldn't go away no matter how much he stood his ground and hit him, and how the soul-wrenching pain from a stabbing trident overwhelmed him as he breathed his last. 

"No, no…" The child shook his head, he couldn’t die or get captured again! He backed away, looking over his shoulder towards the cliff and rushing river. He didn’t want to run away from the fight, he HATED running away. It felt so cowardly, but he didn’t run away last time and he died because of that. And Cyan was waiting for him! He might have a chance to swim away if he jumped. He drew a deep breath, and chose to FLEE. 

He rushed towards the cliff edge, ignoring the skeleton's calls behind him.

The precipice was now in front of him and he closed his eyes as he jumped. The wind whipped around him as he waited for the frigid water to hit him. He hoped there weren’t too many sharp rocks below. But the impact of the water never came and the wind stilled...

He slowly peeked open one of his eyesockets.

A light blue haze surrounded him and he was floating in the air over the river! “Whaaa??” 

He felt himself hovering and moving through the air away from the water and towards firm ground. And the skeleton looked… very worried about him? 

Papyrus carefully lowered the child to the ground in front of him. and released the blue magic. He ran over to the boy, then frowned, looking at the child, then waved his hand with a flash of green light. The boy felt his previous aches from the fight and running completely vanish. He was frozen still, mouth open, as he stared up at the tall skeleton, who was holding his head between his hands, fretting out of his mind. 

“THAT WAS VERY DANGEROUS AND YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH!! I WAS VERY WORRIED!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?”

“I… I… I thought... “ The monster kid couldn’t speak as he sat on the ground, wide-eyed. He didn’t expect the skeleton to save him, let alone scold him for jumping off the cliff. 

Papyrus was once again utterly confounded right now. Monster duels aren’t seriously dangerous to one another, especially with children! All monster kids should know this! He didn’t understand why the child had become so afraid during the duel, so afraid that he jumped off the cliff! He looked at the monster boy. The child’s eyesockets were still wide with fear as he looked at Papyrus. 

“ARE YOU… TRULY AFRAID OF ME?” 

The boy feebly nodded. 

‘BUT-” Papyrus spluttered “WHY?”

“Because you… you’re… you’re a skeleton.”

“YOU’RE AFRAID OF ME…” Papyrus said slowly “BECAUSE I’M A SKELETON??” He had a hard time comprehending the strange child’s words as he raised an eyebrow skeptically, looking at the young monster. 

The boy nodded.

“THAT… ABSOLUTELY MAKES NO SENSE! YOU’RE A SKELETON TOO! WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF OTHER SKELETONS?”

“I’m not a skeleton!!! I can’t be! I don’t want to be-” the boy struggled to push back the sobs that were fighting it’s way to the surface. Papyrus was taken aback at the sight of the very upset monster child. 

“Because skeletons are always bad guys!”

“WHAT?? THAT’S ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT SKELETONS ARE GREAT AND GOOD! THEY’RE NOT BAD GUYS! THEY’RE JUST… PEOPLE! 

Despite his answer, the boy still looked very scared and was trying not to cry. Papyrus frowned again and suddenly he became conscious of how large he must look to a little child. He sat down on the snow in front of the boy, closer to their eye level. 

“YOUNG MONSTER… I WANT TO ASSURE YOU THAT I AM NOT A BAD SKELETON AND I WILL NOT HURT YOU! 

BUT WHO TOLD YOU SKELETONS WERE BAD?? DID YOU MEET AN UNPLEASANT SKELETON?"

“I’m not a… ugh! Never mind. And no, I don’t know any-” The boy paused, puzzled. He had an impression in the back of his mind that he had met a skeleton before, but it was like trying to grasp a memory from a dream. He shook his head.

“But skeletons are always bad guys! All the books I read... in the games, comic books, and TV! (You even sound a little like one from that cartoon). They’re always scary looking and chasing you, and the good guys have to beat them.”

“THEY LET YOU SEE THAT HORRID, UNTRUE PROPAGANDA FROM THE SURFACE? THAT’S HORRIBLE! KIDS SHOULDN’T SEE THAT KIND OF STUFF. DIDN’T THEY TEACH YOU ABOUT THE GOOD SKELETONS IN SCHOOL?”

The boy shook his head.

“WHAT? WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL DID YOU GO TO?? Papyrus was now seriously miffed at those teachers, as well as growing very concerned about this child’s upbringing. Papyrus scratched his skull, he didn’t expect that he would have to educate a child on Skeleton History 101 today! 

“WELL… LOOK! THERE HAVE BEEN MANY GREAT AND HEROIC SKELETONS THROUGHOUT HISTORY!

FOR INSTANCE, THERE’S THE PIONEERING SKELETON PLAYBILL WHO FIRST EXPLORED THE UNDERGROUND.

THEN THERE’S GREAT WRITERS CENTURY GOTHIC AND COURIER NEW WITH THEIR LITERARY MASTERPIECES!

NEXT, THERE'S THE BRILLIANT SCIENTIST (WHOSE NAME I CAN’T RECALL FOR SOME ODD REASON) WHO INVENTED THE CORE THAT POWERS THE ENTIRE UNDERGROUND!

AND THEN THERE’S ME, OF COURSE! THE GREAT PAPYRUS, PROTECTOR OF THE UNDERGROUND, AS WELL A FRIEND OF THE HUMAN FRISK!

“The skeleton child’s eyesockets widened. “You... know Frisk?” 

Papyrus nodded and grinned proudly. “INDEED! THE ROYAL GUARD AND I WERE SUPPOSED TO CAPTURE THE HUMAN, BUT INSTEAD OF FIGHTING, THEY BEFRIENDED US. 

AND I IN TURN BEFRIENDED THEM AND HELPED THEM NAVIGATE THE UNDERGROUND! 

BECAUSE OF ALL THE BEFRIENDING GOING AROUND, THE HUMAN FREED ALL MONSTERKIND!

ANOTHER THING ON WHY SKELETONS ARE GOOD!! WHY DO YOU THINK HUMANS PUT SKELETONS AND SKULLS ON FLAGS AND CLOTHING SO OFTEN?” Papyrus waited for the child to respond.

The boy shrugged “why?”

“THAT IS BECAUSE… HUMANS HAVE VERY GOOD TASTE! MANY HUMANS LIKE SKELETONS TOO! EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE A FEW BAD EGGS MAKING STUPID PROPAGANDA.

AND IF HUMANS, ESPECIALLY FRISK, LIKE US SO MUCH, WE SKELETONS CANNOT POSSIBLY BE BAD! DON’T YOU AGREE?”

“I… guess so.” The skeleton boy nodded, and couldn’t help but smile a little. He was slowly starting to like and believe the skeleton man more and more. 

NOW, THE LAST REASON SKELETONS ARE GOOD IS BECAUSE YOU… ARE ALSO A VERY GOOD SKELETON!” Papyrus pointed towards the boy’s chest. 

The child frowned, and this time not from being called a skeleton again in particular.

“A GREAT RUNNER, AND VERY BRAVE!”

The boy’s frown deepened as he shook his head, tears started to form again in his eyesockets. “No, I’m not brave!”

“NOT BRAVE?? YOU FACED THE GREAT PAPYRUS IN BATTLE WHILE BEING VERY AFRAID OF ME! YOU ALSO CHOSE TO RUN AWAY RATHER THAN FIGHT THE DOGS. SOMETIMES CHOOSING TO RUN AWAY AND ESCAPE RATHER THAN FIGHT CAN BE IN ITSELF, A BRAVE THING! AND YOU ACTUALLY OUTRAN THEM! ALL BY YOURSELF IN THE WOODS! 

“No! I’m… not brave! I was scared. I was so scared the entire time! And I’m not good because I stole that cinnamon bun…” The boy couldn’t hold it in anymore and the tears started to flow.

“I was so scared running away from you, the dogs, the entire underground! And I was so scared when I was caught and then As-” The boy looked down and couldn't talk further as he sobbed. Then he felt a gloved hands on his shoulders, and looked up.

“WHAT IS YOUR NAME? Papyrus gently asked. 

“It’s… it’s... Riley” The boy fought to get his name out under the sobs.

“RILEY, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE SECRET TO THE GREAT PAPYRUS’S BRAVERY?” 

Riley nodded, wiping his eyes, choking back his sobs.

“YOU SEE… THE TRUTH IS, THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS ALSO AFRAID!”

“What?”

“YES! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS AFRAID! EVERY SINGLE DAY! 

LIFE IS VERY SCARY AND UNCERTAIN. THAT’S WHY I GO OUT IN THIS BATTLE BODY EVERY SINGLE DAY! I GO OUT EVERYDAY TO FIGHT MY FEAR, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HELP OTHERS NOT BE AFRAID! 

BRAVERY… I THINK, IS BEING VERY AFRAID AND CHOOSING TO STEP OUTSIDE THE DOOR AND MOVE FORWARD! IT’S CHOOSING TO DO THE RIGHT THING AND ADMITTING WHEN YOU’RE WRONG, EVEN IF IT’S VERY SCARY TO DO SO!

DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?”

Riley tentatively nodded. 

“AND REGARDING THAT STOLEN CINNAMON BUN, DO YOU ADMIT THAT IT WAS WRONG? AND IF YOU COULD, WOULD YOU GO AND FIX THAT MISTAKE? TO MAKE UP FOR IT?”

The boy nodded once again. “I guess. But...how? The boy started going through his pockets, pulling out a few wads of trash and a couple G. I don’t have enough money to pay for it.” 

“NO MONEY? MMM…

WELL DO NOT WORRY! IN THAT CASE, THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL GO WITH YOU TO THE SHOPKEEPER AND TOGETHER WE WILL TAKE CARE OF IT. HOW DOES THAT SOUND?”

Riley nodded again, smiling this time. 

“NYEH HEH HEH” Papyrus jumped to his feet with a hearty laugh, and held out his gloved hand to the child. The bandanna-wearing gladly accepted the offer this time and Papyrus pulled the skeleton boy to his feet. The two began walking back down the other direction on the path, away from the cliff.

“COME ALONG! AND ONCE WE’RE DONE WITH THE SHOPKEEPER, I WILL TAKE YOU OVER TO THE SENTRIES AND…MMM?” A new thought suddenly occurred to Papyrus.

“IF YOU WEREN’T LOOKING FOR ME IN THE WOODS, THAT MEANS YOU WERE LOOKING VERY HARD FOR YOUR MOTHER?”

“No I don’t have parents, I was looking for… Oooooh _Mom!_ I can’t believe I almost forgot! Yeah she kind of adopted me a while back. Been waiting for her to come back. She’s ok, I guess." The boy shrugged. “She makes really good pies though!”

“I was actually looking for my gloves, and waiting for someone. I got bored, so I decided to try finding that cool puzzle again with the big spikes!” He suddenly looked downcast “Guess there’s not enough time to find it now.” 

Papyrus stopped in his tracks at the mention of “puzzle” and “spikes,” then turned around, looking at the child with a very eager glint in his eyesockets.

“Um… what is it?” Riley looked up at the skeleton. 

“DO YOU LIKE PUZZLES?” 

“Yes...?” The kid nervously asked.

“THERE IS ONE VERY, VERY IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER ABOUT PUZZLES. AND THAT IS… THAT THERE IS ALWAYS TIME FOR THEM!!!” Papyrus grinned broadly. “THE PUZZLES WILL HAVE TO BE PACKED UP SOON, AND I DON’T KNOW WHEN I CAN USE THEM AGAIN AND I DON’T WANT TO LET THEM GO TO WASTE! 

SO... AFTER WE VISIT THE SHOPKEEPER, WE ARE GOING TO VISIT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THOSE STILL-ACTIVE PUZZLES BEFORE I BRING YOU TO THE SENTRIES! 

HOW DOES THAT SOUND?” 

“Really?!” 

Papyrus nodded. 

“Yeah!!!!” The kid whooped as he pumped his fist in the air. 

“NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH! ONWARDS RILEY! TO SNOWDIN!“ Papyrus pointed to the east. 

”SEE IF YOU CAN CATCH UP!” Papyrus began sprinting into the woods down the path in the opposite direction.

“Nyeh heh heh! The excited child laughed as he ran chasing the Great Papyrus, his orange eye lights glowing brightly. 

* * *

_In The King's Castle..._

_“Welcome back from the surface, your Majesties. And the Ambassador.” The members of the ex-royal guard bowed to the passing King, Queen, and Frisk. Frisk was sound asleep in Toriel’s arms. Following behind them was a very tall, armored, imposing-looking figure._

_The armored figure stopped and waited until the royals and the human passed well out of sight, then removed her helmet, tucking it under her arm. She looked quite irritated by something. The two guards in front of her straightened up and saluted._

_“RG01, Your report?” She barked._

_“All is going well with the Great Move ma’am! The elevators have all been fixed. Puzzles have been cleared from the Hotlands to allow for traffic. Waterfall and Snowdin are doing the same. And the royal scientist-” (RG02 nudged RG01 and quietly reminded him) “Er… I mean the ex-royal scientist has made good progress on building communication links on the surface to extend the monsternet and cell coverage! The only minor issues are some reports of hot dog stands in odd places.”_

_“So, that’s it? No serious trouble??” She looked at them both. "Nothing that needs my immediate attention?"_

_RG01 and RG02 looked at each other nervously. RG02 slowly said “yes…?”_

_“NYAHHH!!” The amazonian woman threw her helmet on the floor._

_RG01, after a long period of silence, hesitantly asked her “Did… did something go wrong with the humans on the surface, ma’am?”_

_“It went great. Everything was perfect and peachy! The humans are surprisingly super friendly too!” Despite the positive news, her tone of voice screamed frustration._

_“Um… ma’am?”_

_“Ugh. There was nothing but standing around and guarding while there was sleep-inducing diplomacy and talking for FOUR days. Aside from a couple drunk humans trying to cross a fence, the humans mostly made no trouble. It was sooooo BORING!!! I need to fight, chase, or punch something to release some energy! “_

_“Seriously, no troublemakers down here lately? No one trying to cause fights?? I’ll even settle for chasing Kid if they’ve escaped again?” She stared hopefully at the two guardsmen._

_“Sorry ma’am, but most of the stray kids have been caught and everyone else seems to be... unfortunately behaving themselves?”_

_“UGH!” The fish woman groaned in frustration, then turned around and kicked the helmet. It crashed into the cave wall._

_“Wait,” RG02 quietly said to RG01, “those two skeleton kids from earlier...”_

_“Oh yeah, I forgot that.”_

_Her fin-like ears perked up. “What kids?”_

_“Well,” RG01 answered “There were these two kids going to the Riverperson. It looked like they were paired up for the buddy system, but looked too young to be without an adult, so we stopped them. But before we could ask them any questions, one of them kicked us! They ran away and we lost them in the crowd.”_

_RG02 nodded “My shins still hurt from that.”_

_She looked down and noticed that the shins of their armor-plated leggings had some small dents in them. A fanged grin began to grow on her face. Looks like those punks have some fight in them!_

_“Fuhuhuhuhuh!” She went over and picked up her helmet, then pounded out the new dents in it._

_“That’ll do! I’m coming for you kids in...!”_

_“Wait.” She paused, turning back to the guards. “Where were they taking the boat to?”_

_“I think they were taking it to Waterfall?” RG01 said._

_“Yeah!” Her yellow eye gleamed with excitement. “I’m coming for you punks... in Waterfall!!!”_


	4. For The Want Of Spectacles And Spoons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, the next couple chapters are going to be somewhat odd, transitional stories to get the characters in the right places, but don't worry! We'll get to the meat of the main action soon :)

“That’s gotta be the 9th hot dog stand we’ve seen so far...” The two children watched as the snow-covered sentry station slowly floated past them on the underground river. 

“Monsters must have a thing for hot dogs.” The thin skeleton child squinted from under his purple poncho hood, trying to see the hot dog stand more clearly, but there was no use. Without his glasses, he was blind as a cave bat. 

It’s weird how they all have snow on the roof.” The other skeleton child’s blue eyes gleamed out from under her oversized black hoodie. She stood about a foot taller than the other.

“It can’t be snow though. It’s too warm and wet. And especially for the ones we saw in Hotland!” 

“I’m telling you that’s what it is!” Blue said defiantly. 

“Nuh uh, it can’t be snow! It’s just a weird monster roof decoration.”

“You just don’t believe me and you can’t see it for yourself! 

“Hey!” the squinting child pouted. 

She rolled her blue eyelights. “Come on, Percy. Once we find your glasses you can see for yourself.” She tugged along the other while holding his hand. “If it’s still there, that is.”

Percy, highly disliked being called “Purple,” so Blue respected his feelings on that issue at least.

“It should be there. Remember what Yellow said? She saw someone selling it in a shop before” 

“That was almost 30 years ago!!” 

“Yeah, and who’s gonna buy weird human glasses with lenses THAT strong with eyes like mine? It’s probably still collecting dust there, and if not, we’ll find out if someone bought it! And maybe my book too if Gerson still has it…” 

Blue cringed. “And if he recognizes us?? There was that glasses shop in New Home-”

“They didn’t have any cheap glasses that worked for my eyes. And the monsters there were asking too many questions, remember? Besides, our stuff is magical now. I want to see what it can do!” His voice raised in excitement. 

Blue rolled her eyelights again. She did that often while traveling and looking after Percy. 

“Besides I’m not afraid of the turtle, like you are!” 

She flinched at Percy’s words. Percy continued “And you didn’t have to follow me here. I can find his shop easy. I know Waterfall like the back of my hand, even without my glasses” 

Blue stopped and whirled around facing Percy. “Oh yeah? Mr. Couldn’t-find-the-exit in the bookstore the other day? No way I’m letting you go by yourself. Besides, Yellow would kill me if I let you get caught.”

Percy sighed in exasperation, then paused with a sudden realization. “Oh man, Yellow... She’s gonna be pissed once she finds out we left. Don’t get why she’s so afraid of monsters knowing we used to be human.” 

“Quiet!” Blue looked all around, making sure they were truly alone, then she sternly whispered. 

“Again, that’s because monsters might like Frisk NOW, but who knows how they’ll treat the rest of us? People outside aren’t nearly as nice as them, and all it takes is one bad human to make monsters scared of us. I want you to swear that you won’t say a word to that turtle or anyone else about who we are. Or we’re not going any further. Got it?

Promise me Percy?!”

“Ok fine! Geez!”

Blue started walking again, dragging the poncho-wearing boy along. “And Yellow’s right. We have to wait until Toriel comes back. She’s the only one we know for sure isn’t anti-human, and she should have the power to help with our… changes.” 

“The only one YOU know…” Percy said quietly as Blue guided him along the path. 

He thought Blue was too paranoid and that it was her own fault that she didn’t trust them. They were monsters now! So they didn’t have to be afraid of other monsters either. But changing Blue’s mind was like arguing with a cave wall sometimes. She didn’t need to kick those guards either! Due to that fiasco, they had to wait for a few hours until the guards left. The monsters also seemed more watchful for children around the Riverman. Now, instead of going on a quick boat ride, they had to walk all the way to Gerson’s shop. Now, he didn’t mind going the long way, but Blue walked so fast with her long legs that it was hard to keep up.

Suddenly she slowed down and stopped, to the great relief of Percy’s legs. “Oh great…” She groaned. There was a bridge and a crowd of monsters up ahead. 

“What is it?” he asked, squinting at the muddled shapes in the distance. He couldn’t quite make out what they were but could hear the voices of numerous monsters grumbling up ahead

“More monsters. By one of the bridges.” Blue peered over the multicolored and multi-shaped monster crowd, standing on her tip-toes trying to see what it was. A wooden structure with snow on top of it was stuck right in the middle of the bridge, blocking traffic completely. Some stronger-looking monsters on either side of the bridge were working together trying to remove it. 

“Weird. Looks like there’s ANOTHER hot dog stand, and it got stuck on the bridge?? They’re almost finished trying to move it off but… ugh! We might be stuck here a little bit until they do.” 

She turned back to Percy, who looked unexpectedly happy at the news of the inconvenient roadblock. “Yes! Snack time.” He let go of Blue’s hand, and sat down beside a large square block, with an old-looking monster nearby. The ancient granite-looking monster wore a seemingly-permanent scowl, with one horn on one side, and one fanged tooth on the other. 

“Hi” Percy greeted it.

"Hmph!" The old creature responded grumpily. 

Unperturbed, he reached into his poncho and pulled out several items. A bowl, a large old spoon, napkins… 

“Really?” Blue stared as the boy brought out what was becoming a full picnic from under his poncho. 

“Hey, first rule of traveling, come prepared! I didn’t get a chance to eat breakfast and besides, I need to make more observations on how I can eat in the first place.” He pulled out a box of oatmeal, opened it, and then poured some in the bowl. The breakfast noisily crunched as he ate it. He seemed to like his cereal and oatmeal dry.

“I swear you’re just as weird as the rest of them,” she commented.

“Haven’t seen that cereal brand in years.” The old monster muttered at the sight of the box..

“Really? It’s rare down here?” Percy asked the old monster. He picked up the box squinting and looking at it’s label up close. Yellow and Cyan had snuck into a monster’s kitchen one day and nabbed some boxes of food. He chose the one with the dinosaur eggs and managed to find a spoon. Spoons were oddly hard to find in the underground as the monsters seemed to prefer sporks. 

“Rare? Bah! They don’t make it anymore! You’re probably eating out of one of the last boxes in the entire underground! But kids like you wouldn’t understand old items! Or block puzzles for that matter…” 

“Block puzzles?” Percy turned to the large block beside him.

“Bah! Kids like you don’t appreciate REAL puzzles nowadays. They always just try shoving it around and-” 

A ''CLICK” came from the block puzzle.

“Huh??” Shocked, the old monster stared wide-eyed at the young skeleton, who had just pressed an almost-invisible knob on one side of the block. 

“I remember these block puzzles! They look just like regular push and pull blocks but they’re really not!” Percy began to talk excitedly and rapidly. “There’s all these secret buttons and drawers so you have to unlock whatever’s inside, but you have to figure out the clues on the box and they were invented all the way back in 170X by the monster…” 

Percy continued breathlessly rambling about block puzzles history while Blue ignored him, tapping her foot impatiently. She was getting nervous. There was something nudging in the back of her mind, almost like she was hearing something in the distance coming closer. It felt like...music almost? She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. This was taking too long and they needed to get moving. 

“...and they passed some kind of stupid law banning them on pathways. But anyways…” Percy finally took a long breath. “I"m sorry! I know I talk too much. Anyways, um, I typically can figure out the first few steps, but the others always give me trouble. I can’t always read the clues on it, as some of them are in different languages.” He squinted again, rubbing his skeletal hands over it, trying to find any lines sticking out by touch. 

“Ha ha!” Elder Puzzler was smiling, a rare expression for this particular monster. “You’re really something! But uh, kid? That clue right under your nose… It’s in the common language! Can’t you see it?”

“What? Oh…” Percy finally caught sight of the writing below with his shortsighted vision and began reading. “Sorry, I lost my glasses long ago. That’s why we’re traveling to Waterfall. There’s someone who has an old pair of glasses in their shop that should work for me, if it’s still there.”

Blue turned to Percy. “We need to go…” She was definitely hearing it. It was a strange tune that put her on edge, and it was getting closer and louder. She looked back nervously towards the bridge. The monsters hadn’t finished removing the hot dog stand, but there was a small clearance now on the side of it. 

Percy didn’t hear Blue due to what Elder Puzzler had to say next. “Old glasses? With cloudy lenses and dark purple frames with a chip on em?” 

“Yes!” Percy exclaimed excitedly, drawing Blue’s attention as well. 

“Old Gerson sells them, and the Temmies got their paws on some recently too, although I advise avoiding the Temmie Village if you can.”

“Wait, there’s more than one?”

“Yup, dunno how, but Gerson managed to get duplicates of the same pair. Anyways you sure those weird human glasses would work on a kid like you?

“He has weird eyes,” Blue said quickly. She grabbed Percy’s hand, yanking him away. “Percy we have to go, NOW.” She picked up the oatmeal, napkins, spoon, bowl and tossed them at Percy. He clumsily managed to catch the spoon, napkins and oatmeal and put them in his poncho. 

“Wha... what’s going on??” The dropped bowl clattered on the ground. Percy tried to reach for it, but Blue yanked him away and started walking very quickly. 

“Something’s coming our way...” She looked over her shoulders up towards the long path that led to the Hotlands out of Waterfall. She thought she could see an armored figure approaching in the distance. 

She turned back towards the bridge again. The clearing on the side of the hot dog stand looked just wide enough for them to squeeze through! She broke into a run, weaving through the crowd of monsters while dragging Percy. 

The monsters trying to lift the hot dog stand turned to the children in surprise. “Hey kids! What do you think you’re doin- Ahhh!!” A couple of monsters nearly fell off the bridge as the two children pushed past them and squeezed through the clearing. Blue and Percy dashed to the other side of the bridge and continued running.

Percy yelled at Blue to stop but she didn’t stop running until the bridge looked almost toy-sized in the distance. She finally let go of Percy’s hand. 

“(Gasp) seriously? What is wrong with you?” He panted, hands on his knees. But Blue ignored him as she watched the bridge, listening intently to the monster voices in the distance. 

“You’ve got to be the MOST paranoid-” but he didn’t get a chance to continue as a new voice echoed in the distance. 

The voice barked “...two skeleton kids?! You’ve seen them? Where??” Blue and Percy looked at each other in dread. 

“Across the bridge? Great! …” There was a pause in the voice’s enthusiasm. “Why is there a hot dog stand in the middle of the bridge? I swear, Sans!!!”

To the children’s disbelief and horror, the armored monster walked on the bridge, grunted as she picked up the stand, and tossed it away as if it were made of cardboard!

Blue grabbed Percy’s hand again and they started running away as fast as their legs could take them. The water splashed under their feet as they dashed past numerous glowing, whispering flowers in the dark. They didn’t know how long or how far they ran, but eventually Blue spotted a tall patch of thick grass and ran into it, yanking Percy behind her. They hid for what felt like several long, dreadful minutes.

After a while, Percy whispered “maybe it didn’t-” but Blue slammed her hand over his mouth, shaking her head vigorously. Percy rolled his eyesockets from under her grip but stayed quiet. Several seconds passed with nothing but the dripping of water and whispering flowers. But suddenly, the thudding sounds of armored footsteps came close. 

It was running their way! Getting closer, and closer! 

“Where did you punks run off to?!” Both of them jolted at the loud voice. The footsteps stopped right in front of their patch of grass. The children prayed desperately that the monster wouldn’t turn around and look in their way. They both waited, holding their breaths. Mercifully, the tall, armored monster suddenly took off running again with a loud, frustrated “NYAHHH!” The monster’s clanging footsteps echoed quieter and quieter in the distance, and finally disappeared.

Percy collapsed out of relief, lying on his back in the grass. “That… was terrifying!! Good thing she didn’t look our way or we would have… Blue?” 

She didn’t respond to him. She slowly sat back down in the grass and wrapped her arms around her knees, breathing in and out with shuddering breaths, as if she was struggling to not cry.

“Blue? Are you ok?”

She didn't respond.

Percy tried shaking her shoulder, but she flinched away from, shaking her head and only gripped her arms tighter around her knees.

“Blue, it’s ok she’s gone! We’re safe. But we have to go, we can’t stay here!” But she only looked down, burrowing her face deeper in her arms. He’d never seen Blue so like this. She always seemed so strong, but now she just looked… small and vulnerable.

He groaned, dragging his hands down his non-spectacled face. Now he was worried. As concerned as he was for her, he knew if they stayed here, he wouldn’t find his glasses! He tentatively stood up and stepped out of the grass and began to pace around. The child had a one track mind when it came to achieving goals, and in this case, it was the goal of restoring his vision.

He spent another few minutes waiting on her, but there was no change. Eventually he came to the realization that it was up to him now. He still couldn’t see around him clearly, but he thought about that long stretch of watery path with water going up to their hips, then that one patch of dry ground to the side. Yes, this path was familiar. Yes, he reasoned once he got his glasses he could come back and help her. 

He began to walk away but then he heard the grass rustle behind him. Blue was following him.

“What do you think you’re doing walking without me? I’m alright now.” She quietly said.

“Are you sure? You really looked-”

“I’m fine.”

“If you need a break I don’t mind-”

“ **I’m fine!** ” 

She quieted down. “I… I just needed a moment.” 

“Come on…” She grabbed Percy’s hand and started walking. He was unconvinced, but with his glasses on the forefront of his mind, he was relieved that they were finally moving forward again. They continued walking together cautiously for a long while without saying a word, listening closely for any signs of armored footsteps. 

* * *

Silently they passed through the next dark cave room. Blue nearly froze again as the lanterns began to fade to pitch-black darkness. This time Percy had to take the lead, pulling her by the hand. He guided her through the dark, touching the lamps one by one to renew their lights. Soon they passed into a more brightly lit cave room. Percy was the first to break the long silence. 

“That cave back there is pretty cool. Got lost in there a bunch of times until I memorized those paths. There’s some weird drain of magic in that area, that’s why the lights don’t stay on and you have to-” 

Percy didn’t have a chance to talk further as a patch of marsh grass suddenly rustled nearby! Blue yanked Percy behind her. She prepared herself to defend Percy and fight whatever it was. Then-!

“Hoi!!” A tiny catlike monster with dog ears bounced out (or perhaps it was a dog-like monster with cat ears?). 

“What?” Blue tilted her head at the strange monster.

Percy recoiled. “Oh great… it’s a Temmie.” He pulled Blue’s hand “come on, lets just keep walking… Um, Blue?”

Blue’s eyelights brightened. “It’s…It’s sooo cute!! It’s called a Temmie? I haven’t seen this kind before.” She turned and pet the little creature. “Hi Temmie!”

“I gots petz!!”

“Oh no…” He had a bad feeling about this. 

“Um Blue… can we keep walking now? We can always see the Temmie later, right?” He tugged on Blue’s hand again, but she was too distracted by the cute monster.

“Wait. That old rock monster back there. Didn’t he say that the Temmies had glasses? And there’s a whole village of them?”

He really hoped she wasn’t thinking what she was thinking. 

“We can just visit the Temmies! We don’t have to go to that turtle’s shop!” She looked excited.

“yaya! Tem have shop!” The Tem agreed. 

He quickly thought up what he hoped was a convincing lie. “Uhhh… their shop is… really expensive! Pretty sure we don’t have enough gold for them.” He knew it was better to avoid Temmies. He just couldn’t remember _why_ for some reason...

“No worries! Tem can trades, buy stufz!!” 

Trade? He couldn’t remember any other monster shop in the Underground that let you trade? Another point to add to the “why Temmies are weird” list. “Um… we don’t really have anything to trade!” 

“Awww... “ Both pairs of the Tem’s ears drooped.

“Percy! You have all that stuff in that raincoat!” 

“First, it’s called a poncho. And second, it’s just napkins, a spoon and cereal, see?? You made me leave the rest of it by the bridge!” Percy pulled out the items to prove it to Blue. Percy was sure that would convince her. “There’s no way it would want those…” Then he turned and looked at the Temmie.

The Tem’s eyes were popped wide open, practically salivating and staring VERY hungrily at the items. Oh crap. He forgot that the box of cereal was a rare item. 

“You… has… the great…! Asdflkhsdlfksjdf!” The tem squeaked incomprehensibly with great excitement. “Yaya, yaya! Tem will trade! Give many thingz in return!” He thought he saw a very eager, almost sinister gleam in its eyes, but then again he didn’t have glasses on, so it was probably his imagination.

“This is perfect! Temmie? Where’s your village?” Blue asked.

“Yayayayayayaya! Tem guide you!” The little monster ran down the lit path of glowing grasses. Blue pulled on Percy’s hand and bounded after the Tem. 

Percy tried to protest as Blue dragged him. “I… I don’t think this is a good idea!”

Blue laughed. “I can’t believe you’re scared of that thing! This is working out perfectly! We can avoid that scary monster chasing us, and we won’t be recognized at Gerson’s shop either.”

“But..." Percy gasped as he tried to keep up. "Rule number one of the Underground, DON’T trust the cute things down here!” His legs were starting to cramp severely from all the running. “(Gasp) I’m telling you, down here, it’s always the innocent-looking things that are-” 

His words were cut off as Blue loudly squealed in excitement. They had entered Temmie Village. 

A chorus of “HOI’s” sounded from the Temmies, each one with cute button eyes, white fur, fluffy ears, and wearing a blue t-shirt. Several of them had small backpacks with all of their personal belongings already packed (3 items at the most), ready to move to the surface.

Blue’s eye lights were sparkling. “This… is the best place in the Underground!” 

To Percy, this was the worst place in the Underground.

He was grimly silent as they walked along. Blue cheerfully stopped by each Temmie on the way and chatted with them, with each giving the same set of answers and greetings of “Hoi, I’m Temmie!” She hadn’t yet gotten the location of the glasses or Tem shop or the glasses out of them. 

“Hey, I’m going to go and walk ahead and see if I can find that shop! I’ll be right back!” 

“Wait- but don’t- don’t leave me here!” But she had already run off, leaving Percy surrounded by Temmies. 

“I hate this.” He sat down, folding his arms in frustration. It wasn’t just the untrustworthy cuteness that unsettled him. He was forgetting something very important about the Temmies, but it was like trying to remember a long-repressed, horrible memory. 

Someone quietly spoke near him and interrupted his thoughts. “You shouldn’t be here…”

“Huh?” Percy looked around. “Who said that??” 

“Leave... as soon as you can.” A Temmie spoke next to him. 

“Wha?” Percy blinked his eyesockets a few times. This Tem sure didn’t sound like the others! “Who are you? What do you mean? 

“The name’s Bob. You bring an object of great evil with you, young one.” Bob paused, looking shiftily around him, then continued. 

“Your item! The others CANNOT get their hands on it! Leave! Before it’s too late..."

“Wait! What do you mean?” 

Bob made no response, but his face went blank again like a normal Temmie’s and went “Hoi!” 

Blue had come back. “I found the shop! And they’re selling glasses! Come on!”

She pulled Percy up and guided him to the shop. They entered, and it smelled like musty cardboard, glue, and construction paper. He could vaguely make out shapes of shelves with objects on them, as well as a white and yellow/green blur with a black rectangular shaped hat on top. 

“Guess what? Blue reached forward and placed a pair of old glasses on Percy’s eyesockets. “I already bought the glasses for you! And they were super cheap, dummy! She scolded him, hands on her hips.

Percy blinked in surprise (he wasn’t sure why he could still blink as a skeleton). His vision was a little clearer, yet cloudy at the same time. He took off the glasses, rubbed them with his shirt under the poncho, and tried them again. Still a bit cloudy, but better! For the first time he took in his surroundings. He was in a rickety shop filled with various types of dusty junk and goods, and a (shudders) diploma-wearing Temmie behind the cardboard stand. He turned around, and looked up at Blue the first time clearly. Her deep blue eye lights were bright in her skull and she was smiling. 

“We don’t have much gold left as I had to buy the glasses (and I spent some on Temmie flakes to feed the Temmies). But... I think if we sell that oatmeal box in your poncho we can get some gold back!”

Percy’s stomach tightened as he suddenly remembered Bob’s warning. “Uh… I don’t think it’s a good idea; maybe we shouldn’t sell old food to them or it’ll make them sick? And there was this Tem back there...”

“Ugh Percy! I swear!” Blue grabbed his poncho and yanked out the box of oatmeal, and showed the shopkeeper Temmie. Percy tried to grab it back, but Blue’s arms were too long. And by now, the Tem spotted the box of oatmeal. It was too late! Percy was afraid to watch and hid behind Blue. 

The Tem’s eager eyes widened. “WOA! you gota… rare oatmeal!” But then it started to sweat nervously. “hnn… I gota have dat oatmeal! But...i gota pay for gradskool!” 

With a sly expression, Blue waved the box of oatmeal in the Tem’s face. “Hmmm… you’re sure? You know you want it.” 

“Hnnnn... ok I give you… 10 muns for oatmeal!”

Blue frowned. That offer wasn’t satisfactory. “10 muns… for the rarest box of food in the Underground? I think you can do better.” 

“Hnnnnnnnn” The Tem began to whine. 

“Tsk, shame, come along Percy, we can find a better price for it elsewhere…” She pretended to walk away.

“Wait wait!!” The Tem shopkeeper began to panic. “Ok ok! will buy for… 50 muns!”

“That’s better.” Blue smiled as she turned around, holding out an empty hand, waiting for the payment. The Tem forked over the gold, and Blue turned over the oatmeal goods. Satisfied, she walked out of the shop with a hop and a skip. Percy waited inside for several tense moments, watching the Tem warily to see what it would do with the… item. 

But the Tem shopkeeper only placed it on the back shelf like a typical shop product. She returned to the stand and back to the face that she had left hanging in the air, and greeted him with a cheerful “Hoi! Welcome to Tem shop!”

He shuddered at the greeting, but there seemed to be nothing out of the ordinary with the item... for now. He left the shop hastily to join Blue. 

She was feeding the Tems some Temmie flakes, and looking much more… happier and peaceful, quite different from how she looked earlier. He definitely didn’t like this place, but he was starting to grudgingly admit that this was probably better than trying to visit Gerson’s shop. Still… He wondered what was up with Bob’s warning. Percy sighed and scratched his skull. Maybe it was just an extra-weird Temmie? 

Blue glanced at him curiously. “Seriously what was up with you back there? You acted like the world was going to end (again) if we gave the Tem the oatmeal.” 

“Ugh… I know. But there was this weird Temmie back there, who spoke weirdly well compared to the rest of them. Bob told me that the oatmeal item was evil! And that the Tems shouldn’t get their hands on it and…” Percy groaned. “Oh man, I see how ridiculous it sounds now.” 

Blue giggled at him. Percy sighed, and took out the last two items left in his poncho and considered them. “Well it’s not like he was talking about the other stuff I had.” He wondered quietly to himself.

"Hey Blue! Do you think the Tem shopkeeper would buy napkins and a spoon?”

Suddenly, the village became dead quiet. The incidental background music of Tems chirping and humming ceased completely. Every Temmie in that cave room turned around and stared at Percy. 

“Percy... What did you say?” Blue looked around them nervously. 

I… I don’t know! All I said was ‘napkins and spoon.” 

“Spoon.” A Temmie said nearby.

“Spoon.” Four more joined in. 

“Spoooooon.” The entire village chorused. 

“Tried to warn you kid….” Bob quietly said nearby. 

“What??” Blue exclaimed in confusion as she dropped the bag of Temmie Flakes. The Temmies ignored their favorite treat scattered on the ground, and continued staring at the spoon Percy was holding.

“Spoon? My spoon? ... Ohhhhh SPOON!” Percy exclaimed as the memories began flooding back to him. He now remembered why spoons were so hard to find in the Underground. He desperately wished not to remember! Spoons were the worst thing for a Temmie to have! (Aside from the usual caffeine and sugary foods). 

“What is. Going. on?” Blue looked at Percy and the surrounding Temmies with a growing sense of dread. 

Percy turned to her and quietly said, “Blue... RUN.” 

Protectively clutching the spoon to his chest, he bolted towards the exit of Temmie Village. Blue soon caught up to Percy with her long strides. They were pursued by a horde of chirruping, screeching Temmies right on their heels! The skeleton children were fast, but the Temmies were too fast, and very numerous. Many Temmies stretched their legs to stilt-lengths and quickly overtook them, blocking the exit!

The children stood together, panting and eye sockets wide-eyed in fear. The Temmies surrounded them on all sides while chanting “spoon.” There was no escape.

“Percy... “ Blue whispered “give them the spoon.”

He shook his head furiously. “Trust me, we CAN’T let them have it! Spoons make them crazy! They’ll try to escape Tem Village, and…” 

A single Temmie walked out and the crowd quieted their chanting. She wore a yellow and light blue striped shirt, unlike the other blue-shirted Tems. It was the Tem Shopkeeper. “Hoi!” She greeted the two children cheerfully. 

“Let us go!” Blue growled as she grinded the toes of one of her feet on the ground. 

“I’m afraid we can’t let you go yet…” The Tem’s face was unsettlingly cheerful, even more so than usual. “Because we very much needz the spoon!” The Temmies echoed with “spoon.” 

“I giv you many muns for it, yes yes?! You’ll be very rich! Yaya! Yes? Give us spoon?”

“No way!”

“Percy!?”

“They think spoons are weapons! (don’t ask me why). The monsters had to do something _horrible_ to stop them and they had to ban spoons. If the Temmies get it, the monsters will have to release their own… _secret weapons_.” Percy gulped nervously.

Percy turned towards the Tem shopkeeper. “There’s no way I’m giving you this spoon!”

The Tem shopkeeper dropped her cheerful façade. “You will regret this.” The Temmies crowded closer and closer. Several of them began to reach at them with ever-stretching arms! 

“It’s us or the spoon!” Blue viciously whispered as she kicked off some of the reaching paws. “This is ridiculous! I am NOT dying over a STUPID spoon. Please Percy!” 

Percy froze for a moment, pondering the terrible choice he had to make. He sighed, closed his eye sockets, and threw the spoon back over his head like a cursed wedding bouquet. 

“Spoon!!!!!” The Temmies shrieked in unison as they chased the item, swarming the ground where it landed. The children’s path to freedom out of Temmie Village was clear. The Temmies had started chanting again, and the word “spoon” could be heard echoing throughout the caves. 

“Come on! We have to go before it’s too late! Percy yelled as he ran forward with Blue. They exited Temmie Village into the watery dark of Waterfall. 

“Too late for what?!”

Percy struggled to get his words out, panting as he ran. “Temmies (pants) can’t stand things that aren’t cute. It’s their kryptonite! The monsters (pants), they’ll send the least cute, most horrifying thing they could think of!!”

“What is it??”

They’ll send the bodybuilders!!”

“The WHAT??”

He didn’t respond. They had to leave NOW. Tall patches of glowing grass and gravel passed by in a blur. They had to run as fast as possible before...

Suddenly Percy slowed down “No no no no NO NO NO!” His eyesockets were wide and dark in horror. There were multiple, very buff-looking monsters in front of them, approaching Temmie Village in a military-like formation.

“Hey ;) “

The flexing, bulging, veiny muscles…The glistening, oiled biceps… Several types of monsters that should NOT be wearing speedos. 

Blue’s eyelights went out completely and she screamed. Percy followed suit in the screaming, having averted his gaze far too late. The next sound that followed was the cracking of Percy’s glasses as if it too, couldn’t stand the sight. 

* * *

Undyne heard the screams of the children, and rushed towards them. By now she’d already cast away her helmet and gauntlets. A “Temmie spooning” hasn’t happened in decades! Not since 198X! 

She could hardly believe her eye when her cellphone got a red alert message with an emoji of a spoon. She growled with exertion as she struggled to remove her breastplate armor as she ran. The ominous sounds of chanting Temmies grew louder in the distance. Those punks! Did they cause this! When she catches them she’s going to-!” 

“Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!” Two small figures screamed as they suddenly turned around the rocky corner and ran past her in the other direction. She didn’t get a good look at them but they were definitely skeleton children!

Undyne stopped suddenly, creating a long skid mark in the ground, and called out “Wait you little-!” But the brats either didn’t hear her or ignored her while they fled the scene. 

“Ugh!!” She had to stop the Temmies first. If the crazed Temmies got loose into the rest of the Underground… Or worse, figured out how to craft more spoons… Undyne shuddered at the thought. That damned spoon had to be taken away! She’ll definitely find those kids later! For now, she had to fulfill her solemn duty, as the protector and heroine of the Underground. 

She tore off the breastplate armor, armored leggings, her long-sleeved tunic, and stood there in a plain sports top and short leggings. Her toned, strong-looking, scaled arms glistened under the blue light of Waterfall’s glowing waters. She punched one of her fists against the palm of her hand with a loud “WHAM!” The grasses close by blew back from the wind of the impact. 

“I’m coming for you Temmies and you’re gonna see the strongest, most terrifying muscles in the Underground!!” She declared standing in a fighting pose, her arms upright and flexing gloriously. 

A glint of light from a nearby grass patch suddenly caught her eye. It was from the lens of a hidden camera. 

Undyne’s already-impressive, fanged grin widened at the sight of the camera. She shot a finger gun at it while flexing with the other arm. “Enjoy the show, girlfriend!” With these final words, the fish woman took off sprinting towards the village of Temmies. Somewhere far away, in a laboratory in the Hotlands, a certain lizard woman fainted and fell off her chair with a dazed smile. 

* * *

_Meanwhile in New Home..._

_The teen whistled cheerfully as he walked down the streets, carrying a grocery bag in one hand. Even though he hadn’t any luck finding his apron or frying pan, he’d made 120 gold today! He wasn’t even looking for work, but small monsters kept begging him for help with moving packed boxes and furniture. Comes in handy, looking adult-sized sometimes. No one had even tried to stop him so far with the monster children's curfew._

_He turned down the street into an alley. There was a small building that they’d found unoccupied, presumably from a monster that had already moved to the surface. It was messy and run down, but they were lucky to find it with New Home being as crowded as it was. He looked forward to trying his hand again at monster food cooking, and wondered how Yellow, Cyan, and Orange were getting along today. Percy and Blue would be out for a while._

_It had been Yellow’s turn to stay home today and make sure Orange didn’t try running off again. She found her old cowboy hat, and to all of their surprise, the hat had some magical properties that boosted Yellow’s abilities. The downside of this discovery was that it made some of the younger ones also want to run off and find their items. Especially Orange. Someone had to be watching him at all times. Fortunately, Cyan seemed to show no sign of wanting to run off. And Blue, one of the more responsible kids, was keeping an eye on Percy for now._

_He approached the door, and turned the knob. But at least, Green was sure that Yellow, the second oldest of them, could handle..._

_The door fully opened. He froze in his tracks and dropped the grocery bag._

_There in the middle of the room, was a very unamused-looking Yellow. Her eyesockets twitched as she glowered at him from the chair she was sitting on. She was firmly tied down with a colorful assortment of yarn, slinkys, tape, and rope._

_“Get. Me. Out. Of. This. Chair.” She growled through clenched teeth._

_He looked around the room. Cyan and Orange were nowhere to be found._

_“Oh boy…” He groaned._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh, the chapter turned out a little more ridiculous than I expected so I hope it isn't too much. For those hoping the children would meet Undyne here, no worries! They'll get a chance to do so soon in a later chapter! 
> 
> (Just a heads up, with the ongoing pandemic, and being an "essential" worker, it's thrown off my writing schedule so I'm not sure when the next chapter will be posted, but it IS a work in progress. So stay tuned folks!)


	5. Charbroiled Cattails

The elevator rumbled and grinded noisily as it traversed downwards from New Home. The passengers inside felt the temperature steadily rise as they got closer to the Hotlands.

Among the tightly packed group of monsters were two young skeleton teens. The taller and broader one, like his namesake, had green lights that glowed in his eye sockets. Despite the large, cracking scar that marred the upper right side of his skull, his friendly expression made one easily feel welcome in his presence. The other teen’s demeanor however, was the polar opposite, and the other passengers instinctively shuffled away from her. She wore a tattered, old cowboy hat, and had eagle-like yellow eyes that flickered back and forth, cautiously watching the other monsters around her. Content that none of the other passengers seemed to be paying attention to the teens, she continued talking to her friend. 

“In hindsight, I should’ve seen it coming.” She grumbled while peeling off a small piece of tape stuck on her skull. She was still finding little bits of string and tape after being roped down in the chair by Cyan and Orange. “Cyan was far too quiet when I showed y’all the hat (which was my first mistake). Well, I mean, quieter than usual.“ 

Green chuckled. “I’m kinda impressed. She’s pretty small! How'd she manage to get the jump on you anyway?” Then he turned and saw Yellow’s glowering, embarrassed expression. “Oh, sorry. Sore subject?”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “It’s all right… was my own fault for not paying attention and for telling everyone about the hat’s "powers" in the first place. I was arguing with Orange and didn’t notice Cyan behind me tying my shoelaces together. Next thing I know, she tripped me and threw a bag over my head! Although, “O” was the one that roped me up before I had a chance to fight back. That little guy’s weirdly fast.” 

She shook her head. “Anyways, I bet you 10 bucks that Cyan planned it in advance! Yesterday I saw her collecting rope and tape for a ‘craft project.’ And… Uuugh!” Yellow kicked herself mentally and her eyes flashed. “When I find her I’m going to give her a piece of my-!”

“Just yesterday?” Green interrupted.

“Yeah?”

“Weird... I saw her collecting that kind of stuff after the day we’d agreed to stay in hiding, and this was before you found that hat and let us know. That was 5 days ago.” 

Green and Yellow looked at one another for several moments. Then Yellow stated ”remind me to never underestimate her again, at all.” 

“Agreed and likewise… Oh! I think we’re here finally.”

“Ding” The elevator finally arrived at its destination. The doors popped open and… 

“What the-?” Yellow exclaimed.

The passengers around them in the elevator also emitted various cries of surprise and outrage. 

The exit was almost fully blocked! A wooden wall or a large box of some sort had been inconveniently placed right in front of the lift. There was only a short gap left to the right to exit through. The monsters loudly complained as they were forced to squeeze out of the elevator one by one. Yellow next came out, also loudly griping with some rather choiceful words. Green needed help getting out. Due to his big-boned stature, he barely fit between the elevator door and the inconveniently-placed wall. It took a few tries, but finally, with some effort, Green popped out of the elevator gap. The two tripped and fell backwards together onto the floor. 

“Ow! Whose stupid idea was it to block off an elevator with… hot dogs?!” Yellow looked up at the sign on the wooden wall.

“Huh, that’s a weird place for a food stand.” He sat up, stood up, and walked over to the odd-placed building. He knocked on it’s wall with his bony knuckles, and peered around. “No one’s inside either. It’s like it was just... dropped here?”

“Still a stupid place to put it!”

“Yeah I guess you’re right." Green shrugged. "So, what now?” 

The two teens turned together and looked at the rest of the chaotic MTT hotel lobby.

It was packed full of bustling, noisy assortments of monsters with ever-growing piles of luggage. Harried-looking employees ran around like headless chickens trying to fill out errands. A long line to the surface-leading elevator wound through the room, stretching all the way outside the hotel door and far beyond. To sum up, trying to find anyone in this crowd would be no small task.

“Are you SURE Blue was heading here with Purple for their outing?”

Green nodded, feeling quite overwhelmed by the large crowd. ”Percy told me she was taking him to the glasses shop, then checking out the MTT burger place. Blue’s been watching a lot of that news robot lately so I think she’s a bit of a fan." His eyesockets narrowed with suspicion. "He didn’t mention how far away this place was though.” 

She put her hand to her face and groaned. “Great, that’s four of us missing. Ok, here’s the plan. I’m going down to the river docks to track down Cyan and Orange in Snowdin. And you stay here and see if you can find Blue and Purple.” 

“You sure? I lived Underground the longest, so I know the way around. Might be quicker if I-”

“No, in this crowd, due to your height (no offense) they can find you more easily, and in turn you can look over the crowd. You’ll have a better chance of finding them. I’m better with tracking things down in the open.” 

She stretched her arms up above her. “Besides I need to get some fresh air. It’s been well, some decades.” She smiled bittersweetly. 

He nodded in agreement. “Alright. We should all meet back here in say... a few hours? But um, be careful? I know all of us are still a bit… twitchy around monsters, and…” He started to fumble his words. 

“And to watch my trigger finger?”

“I was going to say to be careful in the caves as they’re easy to get lost in, but... yeah.”

“Don’t worry. It's not like I have a gun anymore.“ Her smile dropped briefly, but she tried to bring back up cheerful, relaxed expression again. “I don’t blame the monsters completely, just their leaders. But it’s the smaller kids that give me worry!” She sighed deeply. “If anyone asks, I’ll just be an older sister searching for her stray siblings, and hopefully no one will bother me.” She tipped her hat and began to walk away. “And Green? You do the same. Be careful too.” 

He nodded in response and waved her goodbye. His smile dropped to a frown as soon as Yellow vanished from his line of sight. He sighed deeply, feeling quite alone in the large crowd. There seemed to be something else on Yellow’s mind that she wasn’t telling him, but he wasn’t sure what it was, or what he could do about it. He stood there, watching the crowd for several long moments, trying to think where to look next for the others. Eventually his thoughts trailed off as the scent of burgers (and something else) wafted through the air. MTT burgers! He suddenly remembered Percy said he and Blue were going there. His smile returned a little. Food did always cheer him up. 

It was hard to miss, especially with it’s glowing MTT Burger neon sign that sparked overhead. The electrical sparking on the sign hadn’t been fixed, but rather, it seemed to have been left in place because it looked flashy (with little disregard of the potential fire hazard). Green quickly found the end of the line and politely waited. He was also admittedly curious as to what the MTT monster food was like. He wasn’t sure about all the glitter but he was willing to try anything once!

However, after fifteen or so minutes waiting in line, he got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach (or rather where the stomach used to be). Many customers weren’t leaving the restaurant with completed orders. Most of them seemed to be leaving out of impatience, or loudly complaining of bad food while making a beeline to the nearest trash can. 

Soon, he got close enough in the line to finally see what was going on in this burger joint, and the sight was enough to make both his jaw and “stomach” drop in sympathy and horror! What kind of restaurant was this? 

Really, it could hardly be called a restaurant at this point.

A disgusting assortment of condiments were splattered on the counter-tops. The blackened hot dogs and burgers slowly turned on the hot grilling rack, filling the air with a pungent, plantlike, and burnt smell. An incoherent mismatch of grainy wood walls clashed with sleek metal and white tiles. It looked like an incompetent architect changed their mind halfway through construction and decided it should be a hot dog stand instead. Snow from an unknown source fell from the roof of the stand onto the shelves. Some of that snow had melted, dripping onto the floor and onto it’s very, very unfortunate single worker. 

And that fast food worker was the most sorry-looking element of this culinary nightmare. The employee was trying his best to complete orders quickly, but just couldn’t seem to keep up with the long line and the customer demands. The feline’s face was locked in an almost-painful, overly-cheerful grin as he greeted each new customer. His twitching eyes had seen things that were better left unsaid. Any completed “orders” had abundant condiments and sauces oozing out of the napkins and paper containers. It was as if the toppings had been poured onto the food in a last-ditch attempt to cover up the taste. A dusting of charcoal and glitter covered all the food, containers, and napkins.

It was a food critic’s worst nightmare, and it made Green’s eyelights go out for several moments. That feline monster definitely needed help (in more ways than one). Green finally reached the front of the line and walked up to the counter. 

“Welcome to the MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Glamburger. Sparkle up your day!” The fast food employee faced Green with unfocusing, glazed eyes. 

“Um, are you ok?” Green concernedly asked. 

“ABSOLUTELY GREAT!” Came the robotically cheerful response. The cat’s eye twitched.

“Are you sure? I um… I couldn’t help but notice that it looks like you’re having some trouble with this rush. I can try finding someone for backup if you tell me where to go-”

“Backup?” The cat’s whiskers bristled. “There. Is. No. Backup.” 

He quickly composed himself and cleared his throat. “I’m the only one left to help you today! Your order today, O’customer?”

Green glanced up at the MTT prices. His eyesockets widened. The prices were way too high! Nothing he could afford with the 20G left in his pocket. But at least he could ask about Percy and Blue? “Uh… I really can’t order something, but was actually wanting to ask you if you’ve seen-” 

“I’m sorry (ha ha). It’s against the rules to talk to customers who haven’t bought anything. So… that order?” The cat’s tail thrashed back and forth.

The skeletal teen glanced at his pocket with the 20G inside, then back up to the MTT prices. Nothing remotely affordable still! But then he caught sight of a new paper sign taped to the side. It had handwritten prices for hot dogs at 40G at a “discount.” He looked back at the hot dogs on the rack and grimaced. They… definitely didn’t look edible, but they were the cheapest item. One hot dog was so burned that only half of it remained.

“I’ll give you 20G for that... half of the blackened dog there?” He showed him the coin. 

“Half of a hot dog?? Sure thing buddy!” The feline eyed Green skeptically but he stuffed the half-dog in a soggy half-bun, threw it in a napkin, and tossed it to him. 

Green quickly pocketed the hot-dog shaped piece of charcoal, then looked back up at the cat. He couldn’t help but recoil somewhat at the wide range of faces the feline could express. 

“Ok, I bought something. So, now can you PLEASE tell me if you’ve seen two skeleton kids around here? I’m their big brother and trying to find them. One has a purple poncho and squints, and the other has blue eyes, and...” Green continued giving a detailed description to the cat’s ever-growing annoyance. 

The feline’s eyes twitched. His tail began to thrash more and more, passing close to the hot grilling rack behind him. The skeleton teen reminded him too much of a certain chatty human.

“Haven’t seen em buddy...” He clippingly said.

“But, are you sure-”

“Yes, I’m sure”

“But-!”

The cat quickly dismissed Green. “Thank you for visiting MTT Burger Emporium and have a Fabu-ful Day! NEXT!” Then he greeted the next monster in line with his usual fake grin. 

Green was left standing to the left of the line, his words still hanging in his mouth, and he let out a large sigh. No sign of the others still, plus a bad deal for 20G. The non-edible burnt half of a hot dog crumbled in his hand. Disgruntled, he threw the “food” in the trash bin nearby. Blackened charcoal covered his skeletal hands, and the napkin was too dirty from soot to wipe with, so he wiped his hands on his pants. Now his pants had black smear marks. Just great. 

Feeling much more glum, the skeleton teen solemnly trudged towards the exit, but then he stopped as he couldn’t help but overhear a new commotion behind him. The feline worker’s next customer, a single-eyed slime, was loudly ripping into the cat regarding the edibility of the MTT omurice. 

“As a slime, I’m disgusted at the omurice!”

“Madam… I didn’t make the decision to put it on the menu, but we do have other options to choose-” 

“It’s in the shape of a BUTT! Where’s your manager?”

The cat’s tail stiffened at the sound of “manager.” It now hovered right over the sizzling-hot grilling rack. “My manager, (ha ha) he’s not here at the moment, I’m sorry.” 

The air began to smell like burnt fur.

“But I can make the omurice for you without the butt shape?” 

No! I don’t want the omurice! I want a Glamburger! And how do I submit a complaint?” 

A new blaze lit up behind the cat, growing brighter, and brighter.

“You can submit any complaints or feedback to trashbin@mtt.com. But In the meantime I can give you a 10% discount Glam-?” He paused, sniffing the air, then his eyes suddenly widened in pain! 

“MRRRRREEEEAAAAAAAAAOOOOOWCH!!!” he yowled. The ear-splitting yowl echoed throughout the burger emporium. The slime monster and several other customers in line stepped backwards in shock. The cat frantically tried to pat out the fire, but the blaze was already halfway up his tail, and the sparks now lit up his MTT hat. The panicked yelling began to intensify.

“Oh shit!” Green froze momentarily, eyesockets wide in horror. Some monsters in line were calling for aid. But others were just standing in shock, and hadn’t come forward yet to help.

Enough was enough. Green lunged forward and jumped over the counter-top. He turned his head wildly, looking all around for water, a fire extinguisher, ANYTHING to put the fire out. 

He looked upwards. There! Snow on the top of the shelf! He knocked some of the snow down on the floor, then forcefully grabbed the feline by the shoulders and forced him to sit down on top of the snow pile. He continued grabbing more snow, patting it on top of the cat’s tail and head to douse the flames. 

Zzzzzzz…… finally the fire sizzled out! The frazzled employee's shoulders and ears slouched in relief. 

“You ok?”

“Gyaaa…” was the most the cat could utter, his pupils dilated in shock. Most of the snow melted from the heat, leaving a drenched cat and soggy floor tiles behind.

The monsters in the line began to clap. “Good save there!” A monster in the line complimented.

“Is he ok?” the slime monster asked? “He should have been more careful!” 

“If he is, can I place my food order now?” Another monster said behind the slime monster. 

“Yeah, I’ve been waiting forever!” The next one in line and several others agreed. 

Green’s eyesockets darkened as he looked back at the line of customers. Then without a word, he grabbed the “On Break” sign under the counter and placed it on top. Next he pulled the blinds overhead down, ignoring the clamoring, complaining sounds on the other side. Now it was just him and the traumatized worker in private. 

“Th... thanks buddy.” The feline monster croaked. He sagged on the floor, looking like, well… a wet cat with it’s tail just set on fire. 

“How’s the tail?”

Burgerpants winced as he pulled around his tail to inspect it. Almost all the hair was burned off and it looked quite red in some areas, but there weren't any serious burns. 

“It’ll live, nothing some healing magic can’t fix. So much for my charming good looks though…” He looked despondently at his fur and tail’s state. With his soggy fur, he looked more rat than cat at this moment. 

Green winced at the sight. “I’m really sorry about getting you wet! I couldn’t find a fire extinguisher!”

He waved him off. “There’s no extinguisher here anyway, boss wouldn’t allow it. Heh, he said it was too red and ‘clashed’ with the color scheme” The monster quoted in the air with his paws. 

“What?” Green looked at him incredulously. 

“Ugh. I know. Don’t get me started!” 

The cat suddenly paused, thinking. “Well…He did allow the fire sprinkler systems BUT of course, this weird hot dog stand appeared out of nowhere and completely blocks it!!”

“Wait, this… hot dog-burger mashup thing wasn’t on purpose? Green looked around, eyeing the crooked wooden planks.

“No! It just appeared right before my shift started! And it’s not even the only one! A bunch of hot dog stands have been appearing and multiplying all over the underground. No one knows where they’re coming from! Now with this thing in the way I can’t even reach half of the shelves to get the ingredients! When the boss saw it, I really hoped he’d at least give me the day off until it could be removed. And you know what?” The cat stared intensely at Green, grinning mirthlessly.

“What?” Green asked hesitantly. 

“He loved the look of it!! Ha ha… ha ha… HA HA HA HA HA!” The cat broke into hysterical laughter. “Right… A fire extinguisher doesn’t fit his aesthetic but this fast food abomination is apparently trendy enough for him! Now he wants me to make the hot dogs on top of everything else as usual. Oh, and he said if I didn’t work today, I'd be fired.”

The cat’s face changed to an extreme one of panic. He suddenly grabbed Green by the shirt. “Buddy, I don’t know how to make hot dogs. I haven’t been trained. And these aren’t even real hot dogs! The customers complain about the taste no matter how I try to cook them!”

The feline let go and began to hyperventilate, pulling on his ears. “And with the state this place is in, oh God, I’m going to be fired. I’m definitely going to be fired…”

“Whoa man, breathe, breathe” Green tried to calm him down, but the cat didn’t respond and continued to breathe rapidly while rambling about future unemployment.

BREATHE!” Green yelled. That was enough to shock the cat back to reality. 

“You have a very loud voice.”

“I know... Ahem, sorry. I think I can help Mr…” He glanced at the monster’s name tag, but the ink was too smeared to read.

“What’s your name?”

“Just call me Burgerpants.”

Green stared at Burgerpants.

“The name’s a long story, don’t ask.”

“Ok. Burgerpants, here’s what we’re going to do... 

* * *

_Thirty minutes later…_

“Number 3 hold the lettuce!” Burgerpants yelled to his left. 

Green nodded. He grabbed some buns, tomato, salami, cheese, and wrapping, and handed them to the cat. 

The MTT/Hot dog stand’s appearance was still quite chaotic, but it no longer looked nearly bad enough to make a food critic want to run away screaming. The counter-tops were wiped down and any standing water had been mopped up. A makeshift umbrella was put overhead to stop the dripping water and falling snow. Green had managed to get the ingredients on the blocked shelves that Burgerpants couldn’t reach earlier, and re-stacked them neatly nearby. 

On mutual agreement, the hot dog sign was taken down until they could figure out how to actually make the hot dogs. Burgerpants handled the MTT orders with Green handing him the ingredients. And Green was working on perfecting the hot dog cooking process. The strategy seemed to be successful! The rush hour line was more than halved, and customers were no longer leaving complaining or out of impatience (for the most part). 

“Hey, you’re pretty good at this kid! I take it that you’ve done this before?” Burgerpants cheerfully yelled. After drying off. the cat’s fur had taken on a comically floofy appearance.

“Yeah this old armadillo monster hired me for his taco shop and I worked for him for over a year. He… he was good to me.” Green’s smile slipped sadly. He shook his head, trying to shake off the memories. “Anyways, I enjoy cooking. Although this kind of food is... a bit new to me.” He warily eyed the colorful bottles of glitter and glue. 

“Hell, this stuff is new to me and everyone! Was the boss’s idea to use glue to tack on the glitter. He has it in his head that it’s how humans do it on the surface. Ha!” 

Green muttered in agreement “I’m pretty sure humans wouldn’t use glue on food. Not sane ones anyway… Ahem, maybe you should toss the glue and use grease to stick the glitter instead?”

“FANTASTIC idea.” Burgerpants dunked all but one of the glue bottles in the trashcan nearby. He also tossed some napkins on top to hide the bottles. He put the last bottle of glue on a shelf. “That way the boss won’t suspect I’m not using it. And three number two’s coming up!” Green nodded, plucked the burgers from the grill, placed them in buns, grabbed the glitter bottles, and handed them to the cat. 

Then he turned his attention back to the hot dogs. His latest experiment was almost done. He’d learned long ago that monster magic had an interesting propensity to alter the taste of ingredients. For instance, the MTT grilling rack was a standard magical grill with various settings, including steak and omurice (the last was ignored and turned off for now). With the steak setting, the ingredient placed on the rack would be magically infused with the taste of steak. Monster cooking devices like these were a clever option to get around the lack of farmable meat underground.

It'd taken Green several tries with the water sausages on the MTT grilling device. Placing the sausage directly on the steak setting only made it taste like steak, and roasting it without the setting made it taste… weirdly plantlike. He’d finally figured out a happy medium where it tasted meat-like, but not like steak or burger, by placing the sausage on the steak setting for 2 minutes, on the burger setting for 1 minutes, then low heat for 3 more without any settings or so until fully roasted. 

The hot dog was finally done. Green took it off the hot rack, placed it in a bun, and poured some ketchup and relish on it. He handed it to Burgerpants. “What do you think? 2 minutes on steak, 1 minutes on burger, then 3 minutes off.”

“I’ll tell you what I think!” Burgerpants took the dog. “I think it was perfectly fine just being edible the last few tries ago and you’re working too hard to...” He finally bit down on the dog and his ears perked up. “Hey! Thif if actually goog!”

“Yes!” Green breathed out in relief and pumped his fist. 

“Buddy, with this, I can officially say...the hot dogs are back in business!” The feline monster wore a genuine grin as he taped back up the sign for hot dogs on the wall. 

“You need me to stay on a bit longer? It looks like a new rush might be coming. I can spare about 10 more minute-”

“Nah you’ve saved my tail buddy, TWICE! Ha ha! You should go on and get going. I’ll keep an eye out for those friends of yours though! 

“Thank you!” Green took off his MTT apron and hung it up neatly. 

Burgerpants turned back to the customer in front of him, trying to listen to the monster's order details. But then, suddenly his ears began to involuntarily twitch. There was a new background noise. The hubbub of the crowd outside the restaurant was increasing in volume. And there was something else... His right ear swiveled towards the noise. It was getting closer and closer to the restaurant door.

There was distinct showy music and… His eyes widened and his fur bristled.

“Kid, Kid!” 

“Huh, what?”

You have to hide, now!” 

“Wha-?”

“No time, just do it now! Here, under the counter! He’s almost here!" Burgerpants shoved the teen towards the hiding space under the countertop.

Green ducked under the counter, barely fitting underneath. “Who? 

“My boss! 

“WHAM!” Suddenly a magenta booted leg kicked open the door! The showy music blared announcing his presence.

“OHHHHH YES!”

The crowd in the burger restaurant roared at his arrival, screaming Mettaton’s name. From under the counter-top, Green’s eyesockets widened with realization as he recognized the voice of the robot celebrity he saw on TV earlier.

“HELLO, DARLING FANS! I’VE COME TO INSPECT MY LOVELY BURGER EMPORIUM AND SEE HOW YOU’RE ALL ENJOYING MY NEW MTT HOT DOGS! WELL? COME ON DON’T HOLD BACK WITH YOUR PRAISES AND 5-STAR REVIEWS!”

The crowd still cheered but there were mainly sounds of confusion, along with various mutters of “what hot dogs?"

The skeleton teen couldn’t see anything from under the counter, but he could hear the ominous, heavy sounding “ka-thud, ka-thud” of high heeled boots approaching steadily approaching. The electronic, showy music was blaring at extreme volumes now.

“KA-THUD!” The footsteps stopped right behind him on the other side of the wall and counter. Suddenly the music was turned down. 

“BURGIE, BURGIE, BURGIE…” The masculine-sounding voice tutted. “I'VE BEEN DYING TO SEE HOW MY CUSTOMERS ENJOYED THE NEW HOT DOGS! BUT, ALAS! I DON'T SEE ANYONE EATING THEM. YOU HAVEN'T BEEN SKIPPING OUT ON MAKING THEM, HAVE YOU?”

“Boss! Hey! Great to see you!” Green could hear the tension in Burgerpant’s voice as the cat tried to sound casual. “Uh… about those hot dogs? The machine was broken so I couldn’t make them! Yeah, that’s right! Due to the lunch rush I didn’t have time to fix it… But it’s fixed now! So the hot dogs are ALL ready to go, sir! 

“MY MTT BRAND GRILL BROKEN?? A TRAVESTY! A TRUE HINDRANCE FOR YOUR COOKING! Yet…” 

Mettaton’s voice took on a slightly more serious tone. “AS I LOOK ACROSS THIS RESTAURANT, I SEE MANY ENJOYING MY BURGERS AND FACESTEAKS. IF THAT MACHINE WAS TRULY BROKEN… HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO GRILL THOSE BURGERS? BURGERPANTS?”

Green groaned inwardly. Mettaton definitely didn’t sound convinced.

“Oh! The machine still worked on the burgers, but not the hot dogs!”

“THE BURGER SETTINGS ON THE HOT DOGS? OF COURSE NOT! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO USE THE STEAK SETTINGS ON THE SAUSAGES. THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A BROKEN STEAK SETTING TO ME.”

“Well, you see...the steak settings didn’t work either and…”

But Mettaton cut him off. “TSK TSK. ON THE SURFACE, THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO TASTE LIKE MYSTERY MEAT! IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THEY TASTE STRANGE! AND IT SOUNDS LIKE TO ME… THAT YOU JUST DIDN'T WANT TO DO THEM!

“But I...”

“NOW NOW! YOU HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I'VE BEEN VERY FORGIVING OF YOUR PAST ANTICS! DODGING SHIFTS, REFUSING TO TRY ON THE BEAUTIFUL COSTUMES MADE JUST FOR YOU, AND OF COURSE, WHO COULD FORGET THAT INCIDENT WITH TRYING TO HIDE BURGERS IN YOUR PANTS?” 

(Wait... Was that a laugh track in the background?) Green wondered if he was hearing things. The poor cat could only squeak despairingly in response. 

“TUT, I'M AFRAID THAT THIS IS THE FINAL STRAW!”

Green grimaced at the robot’s words. He was still going to fire him! The teen racked his brain (or what stood in place of a brain in his skull) for ideas, ANYTHING to help his friend. It wasn’t fair; it wasn’t the cat’s fault! He had to reveal himself to the robot, but what could he say to get his employer to believe him? 

Mettaton continued “DON'T WORRY, I WON'T FIRE YOU COMPLETELY...”

Green’s eyesocket eyebrows furrowed deep in thought. Mettaton was wrong. If only he could just explain it in a way that would be believable to Mettaton, even if he had to exaggerate it a little.

His eyesockets widened as an idea came to mind. Yes, that could work. He grabbed an oily rag and a metal spatula off a box nearby. 

Mettaton continued giving Burgerpants his half-notice. “I’LL KEEP YOU ON AS MY COSTUME "TESTER" OF COURSE! IF YOU DO WELL FOR 6 MONTHS, (and without complaining), I CAN RECONSIDER YOUR PLACE IN…”

“WHOO BOY! That grilling machine sure gave me trouble!” Suddenly Green jumped out and stood up from under the counter-top! He grinned broadly and tried to look confident in front of the robot and feline. He had the flat side of the spatula covered with the oily rag, with only the metal handle showing, and pretended to wipe the oil off it as if it were a mechanical tool. 

Mettaton stared at the newcomer, frozen mid-dramatic pose with a finger pointed at the cat. The cat’s mouth was wide open, staring at Green in shock. 

“Funny how the Waterfall water in the sausages kept messing with the steak setting! Glad I was able to repair it for you Mr. Burgerpants! It should work for you now as long as you press out the water from the sausages first!”

Mettaton was the first to recover from Green’s surprise arrival. “Who. Exactly. ARE YOU?” He raised a robotic eyebrow in suspicion.

Burgerpants on the other hand was staring wide-eyed at Green, silently mouthing the words “what the HELL are you doing??” 

“Name’s Green sir! I’m a mechanic from um… New Home’s Vacuum and Grill Repair Shop! Mr. B here called us because of the issue with the grill. It was a weird one all right! I guess those sausages grew in a part of the marsh where the um… magic in the water was stronger (definitely a lie), so it interfered with the settings and it burned them to a crisp (that part was true).” 

Green grabbed the past failed hot dog experiments from the trash, and the half-eaten dog from Burgerpants, and showed Mettaton. “See? It kept burning them, or under-cooking them. Had to tinker with the settings to see what worked with the dogs, but um... It works now! We were more than happy to fix it for you Mr. Mettaton.” The tall teen saluted awkwardly at the robot. 

Mettaton stared at the tall teenager for several moments, then he turned to the harried cat beside him. “You hired a mechanic? How much did you pay him?” 

Burgerpants looked at Green nervously, and Green took his cue. 

“Nothing at all sir! It was our honor of course! Not everyday we get to fix a machine for a celebrity, especially the famous Mettaton!” The broad grin remained steadfast on Green’s face, but his hands began to involuntarily twitch. “Hold it together, just a little longer,” he told himself. The metal handle started to creak and twist under Green’s tight grasp.

“This. Is…” Mettaton spoke. Green held his breath, and Burgerpants nervously grasped his fur-less tail waiting for the final verdict.

“AMAZING, OUTSTANDING!” Suddenly Mettaton’s show hosting voice returned at full volume! 

Catchy music started blaring in the background again. A spotlight suddenly appeared shining onto the robot and the background light dimmed. For the first time Green noticed the gleam off the lenses of various cameras in the background. His jaw dropped and his eyelights narrowed to a pinprick. Wait… Was this all being televised live?? 

“WHAT A SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT! THIS UNKNOWN MECHANIC HAS SAVED THE DAY… AND THE JOB OF MY EMPLOYEE! 

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, HE’S SAVED THE RELEASE OF MY BRAND NEW MTT BRAND HOT DOGS™! 

BUT DON’T WORRY FOLLOWERS! THE MTT DOGS WILL COMING TO YOU SOON AT THE NEAREST HOT DOG STAND! (Once we figure out how to “legally” claim ownership of all of them). 

THAT’S THE END OF THIS SHOW FOR THIS HOUR!

WE’LL CONTINUE TO DOCUMENT YOURS TRULY, AS I SAY GOODBYE TO THE UNDERGROUND (BUT NOT TO THE FANS), AND PREPARE TO MOVE THE SHOW TO THE SURFACE! 

STAY TUNED FOLKS, FOR THE PREMIERE OF THE NEXT EPISODE ‘METTATON’S FAREWELL TOUR.’ NEXT STOP… WATERFALL!"

The robot made a signal with a gloved hand, and the spotlight and music switched off. The lights in the room returned to normal and the fast food customers began to cheer and applaud. Some monsters started packing up the cameras and equipment into portable luggage cases. 

Suddenly, steam hissed as the robot’s humanoid appearance shifted and transformed into a box-like shape. The black and pink-booted legs vanished into the box-like form, and a single wheeled limb came out. Mettaton expertly balanced himself as he wheeled around, yelling for one of his stage crew to bring him his battery charger. Green’s jaw still hung open as he stared at the robot, his mind struggling to comprehend the entirety of what just happened. 

Suddenly Mettaton was wheeling back towards them, slowly clapping with his gloved hands. “Bravo, bravo… I do believe I owe you my thanks for helping with the hot dogs. A very impressive performance on your part, “Mr. “Green.”’ 

Green swallowed nervously, caught off guard. “Um… I’m not sure what you mean? I’m just a mechanic-” 

“Please!” Mettaton waved his hand, “I know an actor when I see one. And besides, a spatula hardly makes for a proper mechanic’s tool.” The robot pointed to the “tool” the teen had in his hand. Green looked down. The rag had slipped off, exposing the spatula side, and moreover the handle had been bent and twisted almost in half by his nervous grip. Oops. 

“Beside, I couldn’t let a young teenager like you go… without offering you a job!” Outside of the restaurant, there was the sudden sound of something large moving across linoleum tiles, causing a loud, squealing sound. The feline worker’s ear’s flattened and he winced at the noise. 

“A job??” Green protested, ”I really can’t! And... what is that sound?” 

“THAT is the sound of my crew moving a hot dog stand from it’s rather inconvenient place in front of an elevator, and placing it right beside the burger emporium! In case you haven’t noticed mysterious hot dog stands have been popping up all over the Underground! They’re each fully stocked too, and a perfect opportunity to sell my brand, but alas, too few workers! That’s where YOU come in! 

Green pointed to himself with an incredulous look on his face.

“Yes YOU! You’ll be the first worker for my hot dog stands, with promotion opportunities. And don’t worry! You’ll be more than compensated and-!”

“Mr. MTT sir! I’m sorry but I really can’t! Um... I really do thank you for the job offer, but my siblings are lost and somewhere in this hotel, and I really do need to find them.”

Burgerpants nodded. “Yeah, boss, big buddy here came in looking for them, but he stopped to help me.”

“I see. In that case I won’t keep you...” 

Green breathed a visible sigh of relief.

“However…”

Green tensed up again.

“My hotel does have a security camera system. I may be able to send someone to check the cameras. And moreover, you can certainly keep an eye out for them while working in the middle of my hotel lobby, can’t you? It’ll be facing the main exit in and out of the hotel.”

“Oh?” The skeletal teen started to reconsider, but in the background, Burgerpants was furiously shaking his head and mouthing the words “don’t do it!” Unfortunately Green didn’t notice the cat’s silent and desperate communication attempts. 

“And besides,” Mettaton continued, “frankly speaking, we ARE in desperate need for someone to man our food stations! Oh my!" Mettaton's hand raised up to his rectangular head in a dramatic, fainting pose. "So many weary and hungry travelers heading to the surface! But not enough people to feed them! Why! If I don’t get enough help to feed the poor monsters, they’ll be passing out in my hotel! Now, you wouldn’t want that to happen to them, would you?”

“I... “ Green looked down. He wasn’t sure how to say no, and he’d be helping the hungry monsters too…“And you WILL check the cameras for my siblings?

“You have my word! 

“Ok... I’ll do it.” Green nodded. In the background again, Burgerpants facepalmed. 

“But I can only do it for a little-”

“EXCELLENT! Mettaton cut him off. “I’ll have someone bring by the MTT uniform, apron and…” Suddenly Mettaton’s phone rang. 

“Ah, that’ll be my lawyer regarding getting the rights to those hot dog stands and I must get on my way to Waterfall! But now, sit tight “Mr. Green!” Someone should be by to take your siblings description... eventually. TOODLES!” 

Mettaton turned and wheeled out of the MTT Burger Emporium and the door slammed shut behind him. Green stood for several moments staring at the closed door, then turned to look at Burgerpants.

Half of the feline’s face was buried in a facepalm. His cat eye peeked through his paw and seemed to be looking at the Green with pity. Green slowly collapsed into one of the nearby restaurant chairs. He had a feeling this would be the only break he would have for a while. He hoped that Yellow would have an easier time finding Cyan and Orange, wherever she was...

***

_Yellow sighed, or rather, seethed through her teeth. She stared at the line as if she was trying to will it to move faster under the power of her gaze alone. But alas, the Riverman could only take on so many passengers at a time, and the line continued to crawl at a retired thundersnail’s pace. She knew Orange and Cyan were heading to the snowy caves at least, (hell Orange wouldn’t stop talking about it), but she couldn’t be sure if they were already there. They could have gotten lost, or someone could have caught the kids somewhere in between there and the Hotlands! She had spoken so optimistically with Green about her tracking abilities, but realistically, with the size of the monster caverns and the crowds, she knew that finding them in one day, let alone managing to meet up with Green in a few hours would be a near-impossible task._

_Suddenly, interrupting her thoughts. A monster carrying a large armful of electronic-looking supplies bumped into her. Some of the poles it was carrying hit her on the back of her head, nearly knocking off her hat._

_“Ow! Hey!! Yellow yelled. “Watch the hell where you’re going!”_

_“Oh my God I’m so sorry! I… It’s just... so hard to see the way in this crowd!”_

_I_ _ndeed, Yellow could see no sign of the monster's face due to the very high, precarious-looking load she carried in herarms. She scrambled to keep the stuff from falling over, but a few circuit boards and poles fell down, including a heavy circuit box that fell right on top of Yellow’s boot. The monster picked up most of the fallen items, but was struggling to reach the circuit box while balancing her load._

_“Oh dear. Um… I d- don’t suppose you could help pick that up and put that on top? And point me to wherever the labs are?”_

_Yellow scowled, wanting to vent about her aching foot, but after some effort, she composed herself. She picked up the box and put it on top of the tall pile of items the monster was carrying. She still couldn’t see it’s face, nor did she care about what it looked like. “Turn to your right, about 3 o’clock, then head straight down the path.”_

_“Thank you! Sorry for running into you!” The monster turned around, and scurried away, her precarious load teetering in her arms._

_Yellow sighed again, pinching the middle of her eyesockets with her fingers. She tried to get her thoughts back on track and plan the best way to search for Cyan and Orange. But suddenly there was yet another interruption as a phone rang behind her with an uncomfortably familiar ringtone._

_The ringtone was followed by the sound of loud crashing and spluttering. Yellow turned around looking for the source of the clamor._

_The lizard monster from earlier had dropped her load completely and was fumbling to answer the phone. “Hel.. Hello? Oh, hi Undyne! Um.. actually I’m not at the labs at the moment but I’ll be there soon, why?” The lizard’s scaled face started blushing._

_Yellow ignored the phone conversation as her eyes locked onto the monster. She could finally see it’s face._ _T_ _hat voice that she should have recognized earlier, that lab coat, and the yellow scales. It was definitely her. It was hard to forget someone like her. Something inside screamed to follow that lizard, talk with her, and... resolve some things. Yellow’s hand twitched, but she shook her head, forcing those thoughts away. No, finding Cyan and Orange was her priority._

_Yellow started to walk away towards the docks, it was time to continue the hunt for the two. But then she couldn’t help but overhear the next interesting tidbits of the phone conversation._

_“The other cameras in Waterfall? You mean the ones by the shop and Blook Farm? Yeah. Haven’t taken them down yet. Um.. was someone complaining?”_

_Yellow whirled around. Her eyesockets narrowed as she listened to the lizard woman’s phone conversation. Cameras?_

_“Oh gotcha! Yeah I can check those cameras for you! Um.. it’ll be a little bit before I get to the lab but I’ll call you if I find anything. Bye! Oh! … Yes, I- I (ahem) LOVE YOU TOO!!”_

_She wore a giddy look on her face and squealed as she ended the phone call. The giddy look vanished as the lizard woman looked despondently at all the supplies she dropped. She sighed and began picking up each item again, one by one. Then the sound of footsteps drew nearby. She looked up and saw the teen monster in the cowboy hat standing over her._

_“Howdy, I couldn’t help but notice you’re having some trouble carrying that stuff. If you’re heading all the way to those labs, well…” Yellow tipped her hat and smiled. Her piercing eyes gleamed at the lizard from underneath the hat’s brim. “I’d be happy to carry some of that burden for ya.”_


End file.
